Well, I have made you all wait too long for this announcement 🙂
Even though we got the genetic testing done a long time ago…we actually waited to find out the gender of our baby. We wanted something to be a surprise…..but then….we started wanting to know….we wanted to prepare, we wanted to buy items for Baby Joy’s room. And as time went by….I came to realize this might actually really be happening…….I’m going to finally have a baby…he/she may not be growing in my womb….but it doesn’t matter…it’s my baby…….wow. After so many years of bad news and disappointment, there’s always a question of “what if?”. But as every week passes, I breathe a little easier. I can see the light getting brighter and brighter at the end of this almost 5 year tunnel….and now we are a couple months away. Unreal.
This miracle is a fighter. Baby Joy was frozen for over 2 years. How can a life be created in 2014, frozen, survive out of your body in a tube, and then placed in someone else’s body in 2016…and grow, and have a heartbeat? I am amazed every single time I think about it….a true, real-life miracle. Anyone who wants to argue that can try…but it’s pretty tough when you explain it. Which brings me to what Baby Joy is….
I’ll be honest, I knew from the beginning what Baby Joy was……call it a mother’s instinct. But I just knew. There were signs, pointing me to what Baby Joy was from the day we transferred…….
So without further ado………Baby Joy is a…………….
I couldn’t be happier….and let’s be real…boy or girl….. I’m thrilled!
So it’s football, cars, trucks and mud for me…ha! Can’t wait!
And for those still waiting for their miracle….oh, how I get it…the hurt, the pain, the sadness…..please look back on how long it took me to figure it out. And guess what………I did not beat infertility…I didn’t. I wanted to…believe you me…but it didn’t happen and I had to find a way around it. Sometimes….that’s what you have to do. Sometimes you actually have to give up something for your miracle happen. But focus and know that even if it wasn’t the way you thought it should happen….it’s happening the way that it’s meant to……the way it is supposed to happen.
This is what was supposed to happen. This baby boy could only be created this way. So many things needed to line up and happen…and if it would have happened any other way……he would not almost be here.
That is what finally comforts me. That is what helps me understand my suffering for so long.
That is what helps me make sense of this beautiful mess.
So one in a billion….that’s him. My little guy. I am humbled by the love of my sister to carry him and I am forever grateful for her in giving him her womb to grow.
It’s all getting so real. Baby Joy is a boy. Please pinch me friends because I don’t know if I’ll truly believe it until he is in my arms…safe….I’ll keep praying until that day comes.