Picture 6

So, I just went in to my RE’s office to have my Stim Day 6 ultrasound check. I’m on IVF#2 right now. They see around 4-6 follicles…11.5-8 range…they are growing faster this time around(please don’t let me stim for 17 days like last time :(. The only thing different is that instead of birth control before stims, I used estrogen pills.

So, to me, that’s not bad news. I only have one ovary and 4-6 follicles seems good to me…well, maybe not good…but decent enough…I’m looking for ONE AMAZING EGG folks…not a kindergarten class…

But then, there’s my lining. I’ve never seen it above 5. Last cycle, that’s what it grew to and so we froze my one baby morula stage embryo.

Now, we haven’t done much for the lining. I took some extra estrogen to try to help it grow…but it got to 5..and that’s it. I know that this could be a problem. But today, my very sweet Dr., just casually mentioned, “Well, after we get these embryos, what are we going to do with them if your lining doesn’t cooperate”

And that was it folks….the waterworks and tears began pouring down. 🙁

I haven’t even began to think about that….Surrogacy?? What?

I mean…wait…wait..wait….we haven’t tried ALL the tricks yet! Sure a little estrogen is supposed to do the trick…but apparently, that doesn’t work for me…so on to the next trick. Endometrial scratch? Viagra? G-CSF?

I will LITERALLY TRY ANYTHING and everything…..before I even THINK about that route.

Gosh, but then of course it made me think…I do have a sister, She’s had 2 babies very easily on her own. She’s done having kids. Would she do that for me? Could she? I don’t know…..Again, I don’t even want my mind to go there 🙁

I won’t let it…

So, today got me a little down…and then…with the tears streaming down my face…I picked up my phone to leave and must have accidentally(I don’t really believe in accidents..I know it’s Him 😉 I pressed some buttons as I squeezed the phone in my hand and a song came on…loud and clear…just started playing…..it’s a song that always makes me smile and want to dance…I used to play it when I had boyfriend problems…now, I’m having “other” kinds of problems…still makes me smile…Mary J Blige’s “I’m Fine”:

So, I know I’ll be fine…just have to keep telling myself that..now let’s make it through this cycle with at least one healthy egg that will become a baby…that’s all I’m asking for is one 😉