Tag: MySisterIsMySurrogate

She Didn’t Have To Do It

I’ve been trying to figure out how to put it….but it’s pretty simple…”She didn’t have to do it”

My sister.

She didn’t have to carry our baby for us.

You see, I read a lot of infertility articles related to gestational surrogacy, and often times, there are women in need of a gestational surrogate stating, “If I only had a sister, surrogacy would be so easy.”

Uhhhh…well, first, even if you have a sister willing to carry, it’s not easy(at all) but second…even if you have a sister, that doesn’t mean she will automatically accept the responsibility of carrying your child for you. And I know plenty of women who need surrogates that actually DO have sisters….and still need to find someone….

I’ll admit it….I was very, very lucky. I didn’t even have to ask my sister. She offered. She called me up on my birthday(after about 3 years in)…and in the middle of her wishing me a happy birthday, and just some light-hearted talk…she blurted out, “You know I’ll do that for you.”…and I remember thinking..”Is she talking about what I think she’s talking about??”. And she said, “Ill carry your baby for you.” And all I could do is just cry.

You see, I never wanted to ask my sister. I didn’t want her to feel obligated or feel “forced” to carry my child…simply because she was my sister.

Because…….she didn’t have to do it.

I’ve gone over so many times what it took for us to have Baby W. I mean….holy cow…my timeline is HERE. And, the details of what gestational surrogacy entails(step-by-step) is a post I’m currently writing. But my sister, was the final piece that brought my son home.

Safely.

I always say “safely” because I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted to be pregnant and carry my child. I was willing to do “almost” anything to make that happen. Just read my blog through all of 2015. I tried, and tried…month after month….year after year to prepare my uterus to carry an embryo…to grow into a child in my arms….

But it never was meant to be….

My sister was the perfect babysitter….for 9 months…she watched over him, nurtured him, cared for him and loved him.

And I could not have asked for anything more.

He loves his Auntie. He lights up when she talks. And I am so very happy about the bond they have….

All because….she wanted to do it……

not because she had to…

And for that….I will be FOREVER grateful…..and thankful beyond words…..




A (not so fun Halloween) Scare

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I’ve now been at my sister’s house over 2 weeks. Our Obgyn was worried that our little man would come early because of how big he has been measuring(already 8+ lbs by now!). Plus, my sister’s last baby came early at 36 weeks, so like I wrote in my last post, I left my husband at home and drove over 13 hrs….and…still nothing. We just had an appt though last Monday and we had a scare. 2 weeks ago he had dropped and she was measuring 1cm dialated….but this last appt…he went back up 🙁 and she’s still measuring 1cm….and she has borderline high blood pressure. At the rate at which he is growing…our Ob is worried that if he doesn’t drop soon, we will need to schedule a c-section…..
And tears……
First from me…then my sister…and then my Mom…
Ugh…

This is the LAST thing I wanted to do to my sister. I know the real reason why she didn’t even want to transfer 2 embryos was the fact that possibly carrying twins most likely meant a c-section and she did not want to do that…at all. And I don’t blame her. Both of her other pregnancies were easy…I mean…that’s one of the reasons why she offered to carry for us…because she enjoys pregnancy(well, to a degree 😉 and her deliveries were easy….but now?

So, we got monitored…and all is good so far…but if he doesn’t come soon…or if either of them is distressed…then a c-section might be a very real possibility….and I am terrified. If it was me…I’ve had about 20 surgeries…. I know I could handle it…but my sister? Her very first surgery was last year…remember when I wrote this post? And now, if she has to have her 2nd surgery because of me…and then the healing process after a c-section? I just don’t even want to think about it….

But now I have to….

So please have good thoughts that baby boy comes on his own…and there are no complications during delivery….

We’ve gotten so far…just a little more…..