Tag: IVF

Please Just Listen….. #Listen Up! #NIAW #Resolve

It’s National Infertility Awareness Week and this year’s theme is “Listen Up!”

I think it’s truly a perfect theme.

After battling infertility for over 5 yrs, there have been so many times that I’ve simply wanted people to listen.

That’s all. Just listen.

Hear me. Hear my story. Hear my heart.

But instead, so many don’t truly listen and want to give advice, or offer suggestions, or just ignore the fact that you have infertility at all.

So please….Listen Up.

This may be Infertility Awareness Week…but for most of us who have infertility…..Infertility Awareness Week is every week…or rather every single day. #NIAWeveryday

Listen Up..

Infertility is a disease and should be covered by insurance. Period. What other disease in our world that affects 1 in 8 is not covered by insurance? 0. So how infertility is not recognized or covered BLOWS MY MIND. Listen Up! lawmakers, the infertility community is getting stronger every single day. We will be heard and we did not choose this disease! We deserve to have a chance at having a family like everyone else. #infertilityinsuranceforALL

Listen Up…

If you are diagnosed with infertility, be your own advocate! Doctors do not know everything and every patient is different. Some Reproductive Endocrinologists will treat every patient the same and use the same protocol on everyone. How does that make sense?? A lot of times different protocols/tests are necessary for different people. So it’s ok to ask for additional tests or procedures, if a doctor is not willing to listen to your concerns…then chose a new one! #beyourownadvocate

Listen Up….

You, my friend with infertility, are not alone. Yes, I’m talking to you. You will get through this..some way, some how. I have been through a lot, just take a look at my timeline. One ovary, blocked tubes, endometriosis, cysts, crohn’s disease, 7 surgeries, DOR, Low AMH, high FSH, Asherman’s Syndrome, persistent thin lining, 4 full IVF cycles, 6 FET cycles, gestational surrogacy. Not easy, not fun…but I survived. I’m always here for you if you have any questions…other bloggers were there for me during my darkest times and I will be here for you. #neveralone

Listen Up….

Many times IVF does not end in pregnancy or a baby. And I don’t mean to be negative at all…that’s just an unfortunate fact. And I don’t think that’s talked about enough. Doctors often give false expectations and that needs to change.  #IVFisnottheanswerforsome

Listen Up….

Sometimes, no matter how much money you spend, or don’t spend, what treatments you try or don’t try….it doesn’t work. And for those who are left childless from infertility, not by choice, this is for you. I am simply saying, “______”. It’s blank because I don’t know what to say. I am not walking in your shoes so please, use your voice and educate myself and others. Supporting the entire infertility community is what we all should be doing and your voice should be as loud as others with success stories. #childlessnotbychoice

Listen Up….

And finally, to the 7 in 8. We know you won’t ever truly understand us…and that’s ok. We know you don’t know what to say. We know you are uncomfortable with our infertility. And we also know that one of the most important things you can do is the theme of this year’s NIAW……..just simply listen. If we want to talk about our IVF cycle, we will talk about it. If we want suggestions on how to get pregnant, we will ask. If we want to research donor eggs, donor sperm, surrogacy, adoption, we will. So please, the most helpful thing you can do is just be there for us to talk when we are ready. And when we are ready, you will certainly be the first to know. #7in8pleasejustlisten

For the most up-to-date information about infertility, please visit: Resolve.org




IVF: What I Never Talked About….

Some things….you keep to yourself…
I wrote about most of my personal infertility experiences here on this blog but some things….I kept hidden….
I’m not one to expose myself…
I’ve been pretty anonymous on here(unless you are on my IG or are the 5 people I’ve actually told about this blog) and I did not open up about my infertility to friends until we were already 6 months along(since my sister was carrying and lived in another state….wasn’t that hard to hide and not talk about until I was ready)….

And speaking of hiding…I hid something that was devastating and I’m about to tell you all about it now….
For some of you, it might not have been a big deal…..and I get it…. but since my career was in television…. this was hard to hide…

It’s called Alopecia Areata

I’m finally writing about it because I thought…what if this happens to someone else and they don’t know what to do? Or where to go, or who to ask?

So here we are….

Long story short, I lost my hair….

If going through all of these infertility treatments wasn’t enough…….

I sat silently as clumps of hair would fall out in the shower…it was devastating to say the least.

At first, I just noticed my hairline getting thinner…..

And I tried to ignore it as nothing….

But then I couldn’t ignore it any longer…

I was losing my hair..
I actually lost most of the hair on the right side of my head(see pic below..this is after it grew back a little too)


Because of infertility….and all of the treatments I put my body through….I developed Alopecia Areata….
For those of you that do not know what that is, it is an autoimmune skin disease that I believe developed due to all of the meds/treatments/stress/anxiety, etc..that I went through to try to have a baby……sure, they say it’s inherited, genetic…but no one in my family has ever had this…4 rounds of IVF and 6 medicated FET’s….10 cycles(!) are most likely the cause in my book…sooo many meds and shots…

And guess what you have to do to try to treat this?

More shots……

but this time…..in your head 🙁 ugh…

Like I didn’t have enough injections in my life…….so for months upon months in 2015 and into 2016…I would get shots of steroids in my head from my dermatologist…

To say I was over needles was an understatement….

But I had to get them…I couldn’t lose all of my hair..I was still trying to work…combing my hair certain ways…not allowing anyone to touch my hair and making excuses when they tried….

It was awful…

But oddly something beautiful was happening at the same time….I was moving towards gestational surrogacy…

And every step we took with my beautiful sister…….

more clumps of hair would fall out…

But I was ok…

And once that pregnancy test was positive, once we saw the heartbeat, once we passed 20 weeks…..

My hair continued to fall out…but there was this blinding light upon my horizon that overshadowed any sadness…..

I was finally going to have a child…

All of the torture I put my body through was finally paying off….

Hair loss and all….

The things some of us do to try to have a baby…

So, if you ever find yourself losing your hair…please know, you are not alone(and most of mine eventually grew back).

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask..

This post is extremely vulnerable…and I only decided to write about it to help someone else….

Someone that might be feeling alone, sad and have no where else to turn…

But I’m here to let you know…you’ll never be alone…I’m here…and I understand..

For more information about Alopecia Areata, please visit: https://www.naaf.org/alopecia-areata