Dear Pope Francis,

No, I don’t have kids.

And after hearing the words you spoke yesterday, “Couples who choose not to have children are “selfish”. I thought to myself, “Do others view me that way too…Selfish?” “Am I a part of the “greedy generation” that you spoke of?”

I’ve always made my own choices in my life. I’ve lived my life to the fullest and I have appreciated every blessing that I have been given.

People may be envious of my life. I have a career that I love, I enjoy my free time, I love vacationing, I adore my husband, I love my adopted pups, I love buying the newest technology, I love spoiling my nieces and nephews, I love sleeping in. I just really do love my life.

And it doesn’t include children.

And does that simply make me selfish?

Because, you see, the choice to have children or not have children…well, that wasn’t my choice. Not my choice at all.

It was decided for me.

I am unable to have children.

There is nothing more than I want in this world than, in your words Pope Francis, to “rejuvenate and enrich my life with children”

Nothing more.

I would give ALL of my “selfish” and “greedy” things up to have a child.

ALL of it.

Does that still make me “selfish” Pope Francis?

You see, making such a generalized statement saying that, “Couples not having children are selfish” is just really quite heedless.

Because, what about us? Those that have done everything humanly possible to create a child.

Years of fertility treatments, countless needles being stabbed into our bodies, multiple surgeries, bank accounts drained, emotions of multiple miscarriages, hope stolen…praying to God every day….dreams of a family…well, just that….dreams.

Now, after hearing you speak, others may view me as “selfish”. Just another reminder of what I don’t have.

So, thank you, Pope Francis.

You see, because sometimes, not having a child is the exact opposite of being selfish.

It’s selfless.

The women who have gone through infertility are some of the MOST selfless people I have ever encountered and I encourage you to reach out to them.

Selfish and Selfless….two words, that are similar in spelling but very different in meaning.

Kind of like those couples without children.

But really, who are we to judge?

Right Pope Francis?


*Photo credit: Andrew Medichini/AP*