If you’ve ever been faced with the gut-wrenching news that you may not be able to carry your child and have a successful pregnancy, I’m talking to you.
I understand how you feel. It is overwhelming. You are in denial. And you simply just don’t want to accept it.
But, if you’re like me, you try everything available and then there comes a day when you’ve hit rock bottom and you throw your hands in the air and “give in” to what they’ve all been saying: You must use a gestational carrier/surrogate to bring your babies into this world.
I never really thought it would come to this. I honestly didn’t.
But after 4 years, you start to think (o.k, you start to get desperate) and you just want your baby safe in your arms…simple as that. I thought, if I don’t get to experience the 9 months of pregnancy, so be it. I’ll have a lifetime of love to give this little miracle..and 9 months goes by at the drop of a hat.
And here we are, about to start this process.
Now, I first started researching Gestational Surrogacy 2 years ago. And it scared the crap out of me.
When you begin looking online, it is clearly geared towards women who might want to become gestational surrogates. Young, healthy, moms that have already delivered a baby or two. Luring them with cute baby pictures and large amounts of money that they can earn. Obviously, most women can carry babies with no problem. Only a few women who have this problem and men looking to have their child through a surrogate are ones in need…and it shows. Then the agencies start popping up. Everywhere.
And then there’s the money part of it.
I have to talk about that because it is unreal. When I started realizing the cost through an agency, I gave up. I did. I thought, there is no way anyone can afford this. I mean, I guess I could if I moved in with my parents, sold my car, worked extra hours, etc…but truth be told….all estimates were between $80,000-$100,000…..omg.
On the other hand, I really didn’t want to make any of my family members feel like they had to volunteer or feel forced to volunteer because they had a “normal” uterus. I mean, it is a unbelievable question to ask, “Will you carry my baby for 9 months? And then give it to me?” thanks…yep. Family or not.
So I waited and I kept trying on me. I was such a lost cause. Month after month. Cancelled FET after cancelled FET. It was becoming normal and I was slowly becoming hopeless.
Until my sister called me.
It was my birthday in 2014.
She called to say happy birthday and then the small talk stopped and she just said it, “You know, I would carry your baby for you if you need me to.”
I hadn’t even talked to her much about all I have gone through…she just knew since I had so many surgeries and never a pregnancy….
Then tears…I couldn’t even talk. I said, “No, sis…thank you but no, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”
And she said, “You don’t have to ask, I want to do this for you and your hubby.”
And that just killed me. She wanted to help me. She wanted to help make my dream come true.
So selfless. So caring. So kind. So much love.
You know, some of you may think, well, if I have a sister she should want to carry my child for me if I couldn’t. But it’s not that easy and a lot of times not the case. Many will say they will, but if it really came down to it, they wouldn’t. I’ve also met many women who have sisters that can’t carry for them or simply won’t carry for them.
It’s not an easy decision.
But here’s my sister, offering to provide the home to house our miracle for 9 months. What a gift.
So that’s half the battle right? We found our surrogate, my sister. Should be smooth sailing from here….
Wrong….this is only the beginning and a LONG road ahead….
Part Two coming soon……..