So I left you all last week with some pretty good news….9 eggs retrieved and 6 eggs fertilized. I was so happy with that number. Of course, the one issue that I always have is chronically thin lining…and it was still thin. I feel like no matter what I do…it just won’t grow and it is beyond frustrating.
But I decided to focus on the good. I mean 6 fertilized eggs….so happy 🙂
And then all changed in an instant.
They were gone.
By day 3, all 6….gone.
As my RE told me…I just sat numb.
And then of course tears(strength crumbled)
Here, I had been crying all along for my thin lining….and now…more tears for no embryos.
For a 3rd time. All of this work. All of this planning. All of this money. All of this time. All of this pain. All of this emotion. All of this hope.
I’m still in shock.
And to be completely honest I am beyond devastated.
I’ve tried and tried and tried to be so strong on this journey…but I just can’t right now.
So that’s all friends. I needed to update you all. You have been there for me through all of this nightmare and I appreciate each and every one of you. I just need a break from all of this. I need to breathe and I need to heal.
Thank you again for your support and congrats to you all who have gotta positive news. I am truly happy for you. Honestly, to me it just means that there’s more happiness out there and my time will come…I know this. I know one day I will be a part of it…but for now, I’m not and I just need to breathe.
Thank you for understanding and I’ll be thinking of each and every one of you.
And it continues….
I think I left you all off on Stim Day 5..the ultrasound saw about 5 eggs growing and my lining was non-existent with fluid(what’s new 🙁
Now to catch you all up to speed:
Stim Day 6: break…no appt or ultrasound. Still inject 300IU Gonal-f and 150 IU Menopur.
Stim Day 7: Start Ganirelix in AM and 300IU Gonal-f and 150 IU Menopur in PM.
Stim Day 8: Ganirelix AM and start Saizen(HGH)-Ultrasound-5 eggs(range 11-15) and lining 4.8….not great but better? 300IU Gonal-f and 150 IU Menopur PM.
Stim Day 9: Ganirelix & Saizen AM -Ultrasound-5 eggs(range 12-16) and lining barely 4mm with tons of fluid..boo. 300IU Gonal-f and 150 IU Menopur PM.
Stim Day 10: Ganirelix & Saizen AM-Ultrasound-5 eggs(range 14-17) and lining 5.5 with no fluid…what?! Dare I say there’s hope?? 300 IU Gonal-f and 150 IU Menopur PM.
Stim Day 11: Ganirelix & Saizen AM-Ultrasound-5-6 eggs(range 15-19) and lining 5.0 with fluid again :(..oh boy..here we go. 300IU Gonal-f and 150 IU Menopur PM.
Stim Day 12: Ganirelix & Saizen AM-Ultrasound 5-6 eggs(range 13-21) and lining 5.1mm…RE agrees to try the GCS-f wash to increase lining(please let this work!) It’s time to trigger too! Ovidrel at 7:30pm exactly…retrieval 36 hrs after at 7:30am 🙂
Retrieval Day: Let’s do this! Good news and Bad news….good news….9 eggs retrieved!!! Yay! Bad news…my lining SUCKS….the GCS-f did nothing and my lining shrunk to 4.4mm…I mean…really? I cried…and cried. I blame it on the anesthesia…I guess I really thought that the wash would work for me. My RE did another wash just to follow through with the protocol…but I’m just stumped. Why, why why?? After almost 3 years and never a transfer because of this lining…I just don’t get it. So I’ll focus on the good….9 eggs!! Fertilize please!!
Fertilization Report-9 eggs retrieved, 7 mature and……6 fertilized!
Now we wait….I will always keep you all updated! Thank you for your support!!
(Follow me on Twitter @dreamingdiapers or Instagram: @dreaming_of_diapers for instant updates!)