Category: IVF Meds

Alcohol Swabs

That smell.

In fact, I haven’t smelled “that smell” in a very long time…since my last IVF cycle. My last failed IVF cycle. Well, let’s be real…all of my cycles have failed……so….it equated failure, to me.

That smell is heartache and failure…wrapped up in a tiny, foil-lined package. Years and, almost, every month within those years, I smelled those alcohol swabs. When I would get my blood drawn. When I gave myself a shot. When I was getting an IV put in my arm before my 7th surgery.

All with disappointing results. All sad memories.

So yesterday, without even thinking, I needed to clean a cut. I opened one of my drawers to find a package of those alcohol swabs. It was actually a package from the pharmacy when you order your ivf meds through the mail. Usually, they give the alcohol swabs to you for “free”(well, thank you since I spent $8,000 on medication with you all for that cycle…appreciate the “gift”)

So, I pulled the package out…ripped it open…and that smell brought me to write this….

Except, I didn’t open it to give myself a shot, or to get my blood drawn to to have an IV inserted into my arm…..

I opened it to use it on my son.

And as the sad, depressing, negative memories flooded my brain………I was looking into my little miracles’ eyes…

He had tears because he fell….and it hurt…. I had tears because….the memories it brought back…. hurt….but those tears quickly turned to gratitude and an unbelievable sense of thankfulness.

I was overwhelmed…choked up, only he and I in the bathroom, tears pouring down my face.

I grabbed him and hugged him.

It might have been one of the most thankful feelings I have ever felt in my entire life.

Gut-wrenchingly thankful.

All because of “that smell” and what it ultimately gave me.

I don’t think I will ever forget those years of using alcohol swabs and how the memories of infertility are always looming. That’s the part about infertility that most people don’t understand. Even when you have “figured out” a way to become a parent, the damage on your body, mind and soul is already done. It doesn’t “fix” everything. And there are always “triggers”. I wrote a post about PTID(Post Traumatic Infertility Disorder)  a while back…..and it is very real.

Is there something in your life…”that smell” or “that sound” or “that taste” that brings emotions or memories? Has it changed over the years? Or if you are dealing with PTID…I’m here for you always…

Gonal-f Survey and a Gift!


Hi ladies!

If you are currently going through an IVF cycle and use Gonal-f, this is an easy way to make some money when you qualify and successfully complete their survey. Please read the paragraph below and if you have any questions, contact Julie below! Thanks!


bioStrategies Group is looking to hear from anyone currently undergoing IVF treatment.

We are looking only to hear from Gonal-f® users. Anyone who is currently taking Gonal-f® will qualify for this short online, 10 minute study. All responses are confidential and no identifying information will be shared. This study will explore your current experiences with Gonal-f®.


To take part in this survey, please use the link below to access the study. Upon successful completion, patients will receive $25.00 for their time. Checks usually arrive within 4-6 weeks

bioStrategies Group is a consulting firm specializing in helping clients develop and commercialize innovative technologies to better serve patients, physicians and the healthcare system. Our clients include major pharmaceutical, diagnostic and biotechnology companies.

Anyone with questions can reach out directly to:

Julie M. Benson

Director of Recruiting

bioStrategies Group


(I’m posting this on behalf of biostrategies Group, I am not affiliated with them in any way. I took the survey and am just trying to help them find their target market of Gonal-f users 🙂 Good Luck!