Category: Gestational Carrier

Please Just Listen….. #Listen Up! #NIAW #Resolve

It’s National Infertility Awareness Week and this year’s theme is “Listen Up!”

I think it’s truly a perfect theme.

After battling infertility for over 5 yrs, there have been so many times that I’ve simply wanted people to listen.

That’s all. Just listen.

Hear me. Hear my story. Hear my heart.

But instead, so many don’t truly listen and want to give advice, or offer suggestions, or just ignore the fact that you have infertility at all.

So please….Listen Up.

This may be Infertility Awareness Week…but for most of us who have infertility…..Infertility Awareness Week is every week…or rather every single day. #NIAWeveryday

Listen Up..

Infertility is a disease and should be covered by insurance. Period. What other disease in our world that affects 1 in 8 is not covered by insurance? 0. So how infertility is not recognized or covered BLOWS MY MIND. Listen Up! lawmakers, the infertility community is getting stronger every single day. We will be heard and we did not choose this disease! We deserve to have a chance at having a family like everyone else. #infertilityinsuranceforALL

Listen Up…

If you are diagnosed with infertility, be your own advocate! Doctors do not know everything and every patient is different. Some Reproductive Endocrinologists will treat every patient the same and use the same protocol on everyone. How does that make sense?? A lot of times different protocols/tests are necessary for different people. So it’s ok to ask for additional tests or procedures, if a doctor is not willing to listen to your concerns…then chose a new one! #beyourownadvocate

Listen Up….

You, my friend with infertility, are not alone. Yes, I’m talking to you. You will get through this..some way, some how. I have been through a lot, just take a look at my timeline. One ovary, blocked tubes, endometriosis, cysts, crohn’s disease, 7 surgeries, DOR, Low AMH, high FSH, Asherman’s Syndrome, persistent thin lining, 4 full IVF cycles, 6 FET cycles, gestational surrogacy. Not easy, not fun…but I survived. I’m always here for you if you have any questions…other bloggers were there for me during my darkest times and I will be here for you. #neveralone

Listen Up….

Many times IVF does not end in pregnancy or a baby. And I don’t mean to be negative at all…that’s just an unfortunate fact. And I don’t think that’s talked about enough. Doctors often give false expectations and that needs to change.  #IVFisnottheanswerforsome

Listen Up….

Sometimes, no matter how much money you spend, or don’t spend, what treatments you try or don’t try….it doesn’t work. And for those who are left childless from infertility, not by choice, this is for you. I am simply saying, “______”. It’s blank because I don’t know what to say. I am not walking in your shoes so please, use your voice and educate myself and others. Supporting the entire infertility community is what we all should be doing and your voice should be as loud as others with success stories. #childlessnotbychoice

Listen Up….

And finally, to the 7 in 8. We know you won’t ever truly understand us…and that’s ok. We know you don’t know what to say. We know you are uncomfortable with our infertility. And we also know that one of the most important things you can do is the theme of this year’s NIAW……..just simply listen. If we want to talk about our IVF cycle, we will talk about it. If we want suggestions on how to get pregnant, we will ask. If we want to research donor eggs, donor sperm, surrogacy, adoption, we will. So please, the most helpful thing you can do is just be there for us to talk when we are ready. And when we are ready, you will certainly be the first to know. #7in8pleasejustlisten

For the most up-to-date information about infertility, please visit: Resolve.org




Answering “Why Me?” During NIAW 2017….

As National Infertility Awareness Week begins……I am humbled…..and wanted to revisit something I’ve mentioned before…

For years, I would write about what each new year would hold…2013 I wrote about HERE…2014 I wrote about HERE and 2015 I wrote HERE…..

And in 2016…..I finally got the present that I’ve wished for my entire adult life…….my child.

I still don’t believe it…..

In a weird way…I feel like now, I can’t wish for anything else…because he is here….in my arms….and I don’t want to be “greedy”. I want EVERYONE to have their life dream come true. So if you are reading this and are still in the throes of infertility….I get it. To read about someone else’s happiness(especially when you may be going through one of the hardest times in your life) is really tough. You may think….it’s never going to happen…it seems to happen for everyone else…but not me…..

And boy do I get it….

I never thought this would be the way I would have a child…

It took me a while and it took many unconventional ways to make it happen….

And now, I wouldn’t have it any other way…

I touched on it on in another post…but I want to mention it again…

What I never understood, as I battled infertility, was…….”why me?”

I said it time and time again….waiting for an answer…and for so long I got nothing but bad news after bad news….

And I continued to ask……..”Why me???”

Why was I the one to have a ruptured appendix at age 10 that left me with an overly scarred uterus, only one remaining blocked tube and one barely working ovary?

Why am I the one to have negative diagnosis after negative diagnosis and no matter what we tried, my body failed?

Why am I the one who is unable to even carry my child….being in less than 1% of the population?

Why am I the one?

And now….I ask that same question….but in an entirely different way?

Why was I the one to be blessed with THIS little boy?

He is even better than I could have ever imagined…..

Why me?

And that answer is simple….I had to go through everything I went through for this child to be created….

Numerous IVF cycles, the exact month to retrieve the exact egg and my husband’s exact sperm, my sister offering to carry him for us….

Without infertility…my little boy would not be here…..and that answers why….

If I only could’ve understood that all of those years behind me….

I was depressed…I was lonely…..I was confused…I felt forgotten….

But I was wrong….

And if you are reading this…and you are still battling….realize that something wonderful can happen for you…

It’s happening now…while you are in your struggle….

And there is a reason….a reason for it all….

I know, easy for me to say now,…but again…look at my timeline/life….yep…tons of disappointment after disappointment……..

If you would have told me I wouldn’t even be able to carry my child….I might have said..forget it….

But that’s not how it played out. I had embryos…frozen 2 years before….I needed to give them a chance…

And boy am I ever thankful to have not just closed the door. I actually had to “give up” and accept failure of my own body…and trust my gut…….just not my own body….

someone else’s body with my embryo…..my little guy…

So, listen up, if there’s one thing my story can be for you…let it be this….

There is a plan all along…….

The “why me?”……that I asked myself and you may be asking yourself right now during NIAW…….

You must believe it will make sense some day…

So “Why me?” ……….well, because…….it HAD to be me……..to get what I have now..this happy, healthy baby…..the baby I was always supposed to have…

And wherever you are with infertility….”Why you?”

I think you know what I’m going to say……..but it HAS to be you….

You will be thankful it was you…you will understand why it’s you….

One day, you will finally be at peace and be able to look into those little eyes and say….

I’m so glad it was me all along……..

 

For support and information on infertility, support and guidance visit Resolve.org