Category: Family

How Many To Transfer? FET (Gestational Carrier/Surrogate)

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With our upcoming FET to our gestational carrier (my sister!) tomorrow!!!, we’ve been asked many times, how many will you transfer?

I probably haven’t thought about this as much as most do because any time I have ever tried to have a transfer or had a transfer, we had no choice. Because of my damaged uterus, one embryo was my only option. Twins would be way too risky in this uterus. So going into this FET(with a “normal” uterus), I realized, we actually need to decide…one or two?

Obviously, this isn’t only my choice. My sister has a lot to do with it, as well as my RE’s opinion too.

So we talked. My sis and I talked and talked and decided….let’s go with 2 🙂 I was older when these embryos were created(36) and the chances are much slimmer when you bring the age factor in along with my DOR diagnosis too. So that’s, that….2 it is….right?

Well, after the last appointment, my RE was concerned about transferring 2. He said my blasts looked beautiful before they were frozen…even used the words “donor-like”….what?? I mean, in my 2nd round of IVF, I was fortunate to have 9 eggs collected and ended up with 6 blastocysts(!)…I was SHOCKED…and honestly,I still am shocked(and wonder if they are truly mine…I’m kind of serious) because we got zero on my 1st cycle and zero on my 3rd…..weird. But I digress….and I will take them!

My RE’s concerns are normal, I suppose…when you are dealing with “normal” patients. His concerns are that we have great looking blasts and they would most likely both implant(ummm…really?) and then he went into detail about risks with twin pregnancies and right then….I could see my sisters worry and shock on her face. He kept talking and trying to convince us that one would be safer for the baby and my sister. I definitely want the safest for them both…

But….I, on the other hand, am NOT normal. I don’t fall on the “normal” side of statistics and it’s usually not good.  I’ve been a patient of his for over 3 years…and I’ve never had a BFP. And this might be our only good shot. I mean, obviously, I would NEVER want to put my sister’s or babies health at risk but using a gestational carrier is not normal or easy. If we were using my uterus, obviously, we would only transfer one…even if I had a great uterus…because I could go back and transfer more into me.

But unfortunately, we don’t have that luxury.

I started being more set on 2 also because we have 5 blasts left. I used one on me (selfishly 🙁 ) and so we are left with 5. And if we transfer one…and are blessed enough to have a baby with that one blast, we still have 4 left…with no where to put them….and I want to give them a chance at life too. I know SO many (too many) of you would die for just one blastocyst, so please don’t take this as me complaining or worrying about something that makes you upset. That’s the last thing I want to do.

Please remember, I’ve been through hell and am giving up my dream of being pregnant, of growing my child inside of me, of wearing pregnancy clothes, of getting the congratulations, of having pregnancy pictures taken, of receiving the loving looks, of getting the experience of being pregnant, something most of you fortunately will be able to experience one day, all at a “chance” for my embryos to have a life. I’m just thinking it all through…..

And it’s all just so overwhelming…

After the appointment and after she researched a little more, my sister called me and said…”I think I only want to transfer one now…I’m scared”. And I get it. I truly do. She listened to my RE, read all of the statistics, read the message boards(yikes) and for “normal” people, it’s a pretty good chance that they would both take. I’m not convinced mine would…but that’s just me and the trauma I have been through. I am so beyond blessed that I even have a sister willing to do this that I want her to be happy and comfortable.

So finally last night, my husband and I decided…..that it will be up to my sister how many embryos are transferred….

All up to her…..100%.

And that’s that. It’s her body and her decision. And we are at peace with that….

Again, we are so blessed with her gift, that I want her to feel good about the decision and not pressure her into anything.

So she called me last night and………one embryo it is.

We will transfer our strongest A graded embryo tomorrow(!!!!)

I am happy with this. I am hopeful.

I am simply blessed to have a chance at having a baby.

Finally….we will have a chance.

(Prayers, baby dust, blessings, positive vibes, more prayers….all are welcome 🙂 )

I’ll update tomorrow!!

 

 

Countdown to FET (Gestational Carrier/Surrogate)

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I’ll admit…I’m a little behind….but I’m catching you all up on everything now….

All of this has taken SOOOO long, I feel like I’ve waited and waited and waited…..(o.k…I have)

To finally get to a real chance at a transfer. Like a good chance.

For the past couple of years, I would take all of the meds, pay all of the fees and go through all of the shots, ultrasounds, etc….and then when most got a chance at a transfer….I got a pity look and the same result…my lining was too thin….and not 7mm thin…..I’m talking 4-5mm(at the thickest)…with ALL of the estrogen, suppositories, viagra, trental, pom juice, pineapple core, acupuncture, herbs (add in any other lining “tricks”), etc..

Unfortunately, it just doesn’t grow.

I have had numerous(8+ cancelled FET’s), 3 failed full IVF cycles and one transfer in a 5.5mm lining because I was desperate and selfish(and still regret even doing that 🙁 ).

BUT

We are now on this new plan (with my angel of a sister as our gestational carrier 🙂 ) and it is in the process…as we speak!

  • My sister had her baseline, a little over a week ago(which was good!) and started her estrogen(yay!).
  • She had a lining check last Friday, being on 5 days of estrogen and her lining was already 7.1mm(yes!!!)
  • We had another lining check today and it’s 8.7mm(yipee!!!!!!!)
  • She starts progesterone injections tomorrow(which she is terrified about….sorry sis!)
  • And we will have a transfer ONE WEEK FROM YESTERDAY! In less than a week!!

6 days!!!! I know!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

I left you all out of the loop for far too long…but now we are caught up!!!!

It’s been kinda weird though because I personally haven’t been doing much fertility related. No appointments for me. No shots. No meds. Nada.

I’ve been the cheerleader, scheduler, chauffeur(she lives 7 hrs drive away and flies here for every appointment!), etc….I’ve been overwhelmed but so thankful that all seems to be going as planned 🙂

When I saw that after only 5 days of estrace her lining was already 7.1mm….and then her lining today at 8.7mm….I seriously cried….I’ve never had a lining measurement that thick and to know that my embryos are going to have a chance at life just makes me so hopeful….

So that’s where we are at!

I will update you once we get closer but next week at this time…we should be PUPO!!!!(God willing!!)

Ahhhhhhh!!! (Can you tell I’m a little excited!!!)

Thank you all for your continued love and support!

I’ll update again soon!! xoxo