Category: Family

IVF Calendar, Ordering IVF Meds & Pep Talks!

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So there it is…my very first IVF calendar ↑

(Yes…I put it on top of pink gingham. Gingham always reminds me of babies…and we are trying to make babies so…subliminal messaging…worth a try 😉

I wanted to post the exact calendar I am writing on to show some of you, who maybe haven’t gone through IVF yet, what the month looks like. I couldn’t find many on the internet so I hope to help someone looking  for a sample calendar. I start meds on November 4!

Oh boy, though…. I’m not gonna lie. Does it scare the heck out of me!? YES! I haven’t filled in the amount of medicine for each day because the Dr. will give that to me later. However, I did  JUST order the meds, and wow…I don’t think I’ve charged that much over the internet, well, EVER! I decided to go ahead and order overseas. I know, seems risky but I made the decision because my RE suggested it and since we have over 2 1/2 weeks to get them…should be good to go…fingers crossed. If all goes well, I’ll be happy to share where I ordered from and how much I saved!

So that’s my update..all else is going pretty well. I had my checkup after the hysteroscopy and Essure placement and looks ok…I guess we will know more when I have the sono hsg to check how my uterus looks on Oct.28

Other than that…I’m just focusing on staying positive! It does make me a little sad when women complain about IVF. I get it though. It’s not easy. It’s not fair. It’s draining me, my bank account and pushing my credit cards to the limit and I’m sure the shots are not pleasant(I’ll find that out soon enough..yikes!)….but I just always like to remind myself how VERY FORTUNATE I am to live in a day and age where this is even possible. 50 years ago, I would not have this option. In my situation, I would be forced to adopt if I wanted a family.  But today, at least I have a chance. A chance to create a life…with my very own DNA.

IVF ladies are special. We were apparently chosen for our strength and courage and pure tenacity. Most women would not be able to handle this journey. But we are and we will. That’s your pep talk for the week ladies…so go out there and get them! (lots of healthy eggs!! ;))

Hysteroscopy, results, struggle & strength

Once again catching up 🙂

About a month after my HSG, was my (dreaded) Hysteroscopy and Essure placement.

I made the tough decision to go ahead with the Essure procedure and block my tubes completely. Now, the only way I would ever become pregnant is through IVF. It was a very hard decision but after realizing that the chances of: #1 Never becoming pregnant,#2 Having an ectopic pregnancy or #3 Having toxic fluid possibly kill my embryo(s)….I said…let’s do this and be safe!

The night before I had to take this medicine to “help open up my cervix”. Seemed harmless, right? Umm….wow…no, some of the worst cramps…..all night long…I mean, I could handle it.. ..I’m tough(just keep telling myself that and it works right 😉 ).I was also pretty nervous about this WHOOOOOOLE thing. If I REALLY thought about it….I’m choosing to fully block my ONLY tube and never be able to become pregnant naturally….ever. I had to keep telling myself though….that I’ve NEVER even been pregnant so maybe this is the only way I will ever become pregnant? ALL those questions and answers processing through my brian. No wonder I couldn’t sleep! I prayed and felt that, I had to take this next step. And this will take me one step closer to becoming a Mom…..all I’ve ever wanted….

Surgery Day….i couldn’t eat or drink anything past midnight the night before. Surgery was scheduled for 11:30am…I woke up…I was SO thirsty! My hubby drove me to the office. I got settled in. They put me under general anesthesia and I was out….

3 hours later…..

I woke up to a sweet faced nurse asking me questions about my first job. I work in television so I get questions all of the time…but I was so confused…and exhausted and still THIRSTY! 3 Hours?! I thought this was going to take 1 hour?? What happened??

My RE came in and said…”We ended up having to do a D & C on you(what???), you had A LOT of scar tissue…looks like you have Asherman’s Syndrome too but we placed the Essure and hopefully it will stay there”.  “Oh, and you have a drain and a balloon inside of you for the next week…we will check on that in a week”.

What?!?!!!

Wow…gotta love how the Dr.’s just tell it like it is…soooo…one more thing to add to my growing list:

  • I only have one “lazy” ovary/one fallopian tube
  • My only fallopian tube is blocked and has hydrosalpinx
  • I have a lot of scar tissue in my uterus and diagnosed with Asherman’s Syndrome
  • I have this (gross) drain tube and balloon in side of my uterus for the next week..feels great…oh joy
  • Small uterus (yah…he told me that too)
  • Low AMH(.62) and High FSH (12.8)

So, after all of that, I still have hope. I won’t give up. I’m seeing this journey more as a job. I will take whatever steps to get to where I want to be.

My RE is concerned about my eggs and quality/quantity so he wants to get them out asap. I will be doing a retrieval cycle in November. Then take a month off. Do another retrieval in Jan. Take a month off. And then hopefully do an FET in March. I’m almost overwhelmed by all of this. Emotionally…let alone financially. But I will do it…whatever it takes….

Thank you friends, I’ll need your support and encouragement. I enjoy reading your updates and am thrilled when I see that one of you is pregnant. I also feel the pain of losses with you and disappointment. This blogging community is strong, I am so happy to have you all. I might be at a low point now but one day I will be at my highest point…share the journey.

Through this beautiful struggle…I will stay strong…

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