Category: Faith

Countdown to FET (Gestational Carrier/Surrogate)


I’ll admit…I’m a little behind….but I’m catching you all up on everything now….

All of this has taken SOOOO long, I feel like I’ve waited and waited and waited…..(o.k…I have)

To finally get to a real chance at a transfer. Like a good chance.

For the past couple of years, I would take all of the meds, pay all of the fees and go through all of the shots, ultrasounds, etc….and then when most got a chance at a transfer….I got a pity look and the same result…my lining was too thin….and not 7mm thin…..I’m talking 4-5mm(at the thickest)…with ALL of the estrogen, suppositories, viagra, trental, pom juice, pineapple core, acupuncture, herbs (add in any other lining “tricks”), etc..

Unfortunately, it just doesn’t grow.

I have had numerous(8+ cancelled FET’s), 3 failed full IVF cycles and one transfer in a 5.5mm lining because I was desperate and selfish(and still regret even doing that 🙁 ).


We are now on this new plan (with my angel of a sister as our gestational carrier 🙂 ) and it is in the process…as we speak!

  • My sister had her baseline, a little over a week ago(which was good!) and started her estrogen(yay!).
  • She had a lining check last Friday, being on 5 days of estrogen and her lining was already 7.1mm(yes!!!)
  • We had another lining check today and it’s 8.7mm(yipee!!!!!!!)
  • She starts progesterone injections tomorrow(which she is terrified about….sorry sis!)
  • And we will have a transfer ONE WEEK FROM YESTERDAY! In less than a week!!

6 days!!!! I know!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

I left you all out of the loop for far too long…but now we are caught up!!!!

It’s been kinda weird though because I personally haven’t been doing much fertility related. No appointments for me. No shots. No meds. Nada.

I’ve been the cheerleader, scheduler, chauffeur(she lives 7 hrs drive away and flies here for every appointment!), etc….I’ve been overwhelmed but so thankful that all seems to be going as planned 🙂

When I saw that after only 5 days of estrace her lining was already 7.1mm….and then her lining today at 8.7mm….I seriously cried….I’ve never had a lining measurement that thick and to know that my embryos are going to have a chance at life just makes me so hopeful….

So that’s where we are at!

I will update you once we get closer but next week at this time…we should be PUPO!!!!(God willing!!)

Ahhhhhhh!!! (Can you tell I’m a little excited!!!)

Thank you all for your continued love and support!

I’ll update again soon!! xoxo



Haven’t We Struggled Enough?


I’ve thought about this often battling this disease of infertility.

The struggle.

I remember when I first started trying to conceive, I compared myself to others. I would read about someone who started trying to conceive since 2007, and think, “Wow, she’s “struggled enough” and I’m sure her time will come soon”. And then it didn’t. Then I would read about another woman, ttc after 2 months and who simply had to take Clomid for a cycle or two and she got pregnant. Just like that. Did she “struggle enough”?. Why does one woman get to have a child so much easier than another woman that has struggled for over 4+ years, numerous miscarriages and hundreds of treatments? It didn’t make sense to me….

Which brings me to a couple of bloggers here who have been there from the beginning…I’ll simply give some names….Isabelle, Elisha, Caroline, A, Dawn, PS, Elena, Chelsea, Steph……..I’m sure I have missed a few as well…..

These ladies have struggled. And continue to struggle.

Year after year. Years….after years. And I feel their pain. I’ve been there with them. They’ve cheered others on, while they continue to either receive bad news or no news regarding their quest to have a child.

It really hit me after Isabelle received another BFN after her second donor egg transfer this past weekend. Devastating. My heart goes out to her and her husband.

Why does this have to continue happening? Hasn’t she “struggled enough”??

Haven’t we all struggled enough??

I don’t have answers. But it does open the door to fear into my soul…..and then I question……

What if using a gestational carrier doesn’t work for me?

What if, after ALL of the crap I’ve been through and all of the money we have spent is for not?

I know I can’t let that in. I can’t think that way….

I must stay positive.

I must believe that this is the way our child will enter the world.

I’ve struggled with and yet accepted the fact that I won’t be able to carry and nurture this child for 9 months.

Isn’t that enough struggle?

Years of needles, hundreds of Dr.’s appointments, thousands upon thousands of dollars in debt, sacrifice, pain, sadness….

Isn’t that enough struggle?

I don’t know.

But for now, I just must believe.

Simply believe in this plan and my gut feeling.

I believe it will work and I believe I will be holding my child by the end of this year.

And that’s all I can do right now…….is simply believe.