“Nothing is harder than being a parent”, she said……”Oh, you’ll see”…

It only took me a second…and I wasn’t able to hold my tongue….

“Infertility is harder than being a parent”, I said.

She stared at me…almost personally offended….like I had blamed her for my infertility…….and didn’t say anything else…except, awkwardly…..”Oh well, you know what I mean.” and walked around me and out of the room….

But I thought to myself…….do you know what I mean???

The woman who said that to me actually planned one of her pregnancies so she could be pregnant in September to have a baby before it was too hot outside…..uh uh…..

I still cannot believe that people can actually do that….like, mind blown that some people can…

So obviously, she never struggled to get pregnant, let alone go through everything I went through with not even being able to carry my own child….

Nothing is harder…hmm…

No, my friend, nothing is harder than: Crying every night for years and years to be blessed with a pregnancy..something most don’t even have to think about, to research thousand upon thousands of hours regarding treatment for your infertility, making your first call to a Reproductive Endocrinologist that’s not even covered by insurance, and to then spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on something that is not guaranteed, to be poked and prodded week after week..year after year, sobbing before giving yourself your first injection of medicine, and sobbing after giving yourself your 100th injection as well, believing you would “only” need one cycle of IVF..but 3 IVF’s later and you are still praying, attending baby showers and never knowing if it will ever be your turn, seeing pregnant women every day complaining and only wishing you could have those problems…and, for some, finally becoming pregnant and losing your baby…..losing maybe your only chance at ever becoming a parent……just to name a few….

So, no, being a parent is not “the hardest thing”

Being a parent is a gift. A gift that so many men and women pray for every day….

and so many more take for granted…..

I am speaking for those still battling, still fighting…..and wanting more than anything to walk in your shoes during your hardest day as a parent.

Infertility is harder than being a parent.

I know it is….and that’s something I’ll never ever forget.



Photo credit to: rmacsyackityyacks.wordpress.com


15 Comments on Nothing is harder……

  1. Well said. I completely agree. Of course being a parent is hard, but the not knowing, the waiting, and the emotional heartache that infertility and RPL bring are so much harder. I am forever grateful for my baby and I will never ever take her for granted.

  2. Thank you so much! Many of us say things that we think we really believe to be true! We must remember we have not walked in some of those other shoes!

    Infertility is difficult, and so many of us are going through it, and it’s almost a silent community!

    You have not only helped many of us by speaking up & out, but by continuing to speak! Thank you! 😘

  3. Totally agree, infertility is harder. Having being one of the lucky ones to make it to the other side and have a baby, to me it’s not even comparable. I know every person and every journey is different but that comment would have made me wince! Well done for standing up for yourself x

  4. Every word of this hit home for me….as I rock my baby boy to sleep after 5 years of IF, 5 IVFs and 3 miscarriages. Those years were infinitely harder than my hardest parenting days thus far. Thank you for the reminder, friend 💙😘.

  5. Well said. It’s been 3 long years for us and I still cry and face the reality of it all. I love the frankness of your blogs. You keep me inspired that my one day will come. Thank-you!

  6. Love this post, we’ll done for standing up for yourself – I feel like I am biting my tongue every single day and only wish I had the courage that you do. I am constantly surrounded by friends and family that have recently had babies and they openly discuss how difficult it is being a mum in front of me…if only they knew! Infertility is a daily struggle for many of us but I hope that one day we are all as lucky as they are. These posts make me realise that we are not alone xx

  7. Agreed! Fostering has enabled us to parent by proxy, and it has been so much easier than I thought it could be. The sleepless nights. The blow out diapers. The throw up all down my shirt. I will take that a million times over infertility. Parenting is awesome. Sure it requires sacrifice and your heart hurts when the kid hurts, but not being able to have the child you want is so much worse. I am so glad you said something. I wish it was easier to explain to people.

  8. Bless your heart. After my very painfully excruciating IVF experience where I was on a medicated cycle almost about to be implanted only for my jealous, controlling husband to withdraw consent and threaten divorce???!!! Truly comforting to see how much you appreciate our pain–which as our virtual sister you do of course. After everything you’ve gone through your story tells me it’s not over until it’s over. You are a tremendous inspiration.

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