Someone wrote me recently and one sentence stuck out….

“The strength and determination you have had to endure, others couldn’t fathom.”

I thought about that for a moment…….”others couldn’t fathom”

I know I have been through a lot regarding infertility but I know others have been through even more. I mean, there are men and women when I read their stories, I think, I couldn’t fathom.

Honestly, it didn’t occur to me that maybe some people feel that way about me.

But then I had to step back.

And I had to look at my timeline(a.k.a. my life). I looked at all of the surgeries, appointments, procedures, blood draws, IVF’s, cancelled FET cycles, failed cycles, negative pregnancy tests, then ultimately giving up my ability to carry my own child and all of the work that has gone into having a gestational surrogate carry my baby…..

And wow…..I don’t know if I could have fathomed that 4 years ago either, when I started trying to have a baby.

Going through infertility, many times I thought, I just want to know what my future will look like…especially in the beginning. I wanted to know if the surgery would work, if I was on the correct path or dosage of medicine, if this would be the last IVF I would have to go through or if I would have blastocysts, if my lining would be thick enough, I could go on and on….

But if I knew what I would have to go through, maybe it would have been too overwhelming…..

Maybe I would have said, “Forget it, it just seems like it’s going to be too much.”

Maybe I would have given up before I even tried….

But that’s not how life works.

No one knows their future…so pray to God, or you go with your gut and take it step by step, day by day to decide what is best for you.

“What others couldn’t fathom”….that’s us. That’s infertility.

Wear that comment like a badge of honor. And stand proud.

I can now say….it makes me feel invincible that I can handle something others couldn’t fathom.

Like we have the superpowers of patience and determination.

And whether you are just starting your infertility battle…or have been here for 10 years…..

There is someone out there that could not fathom what you are going through at this very moment.

You are all strong. You are all brave.

You are all an inspiration to those longing to be called “Mom”….

Even if you are not one yet……yet.

So in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I salute all of my infertility warriors. You are all my inspiration and I appreciate each and every one of your messages and comments. Thank you for supporting me and thank you for spreading the word.

Infertility is a disease. Infertility needs to be recognized and covered by insurance.

Infertility is not a choice. Infertility is something I could never fathom yet is now a part of me forever.

And now, I am speaking up to help those that may not have found their voice yet…

Let’s all break the silence. #StartAsking

#NIAW 2016 #Resolve


17 Comments on What Others Couldn’t Fathom #NIAW

  1. Such a nice post. And others can’t fathom it. I know that when I was younger, before marriage I couldn’t fathom going through this. I certainly couldn’t imagine LIVING through it. But we have.

    And you are very brave to share your journey. I am still far too scared, so thank you for being my voice.

  2. Thank your for sharing your journey as I try to understand why our IVF cycle didn’t take. Why we too have failed attempts to get pregnant. Infertility should be covered by insurance and praying one day it will be. Thank you for being brave.

  3. Looking back on my nearly 10 year infertility journey there were many days that I wished I knew what the future held…because maybe then I could relax and wait….trust me…the wait is worth it! Thank you for your post! I found your blog through Instagram today! God bless your journey!

  4. Beautiful post. I find that people going through tough stuff (infertility, RPL, illness, cancer….) are incredibly adaptable and resilient. That is our strength as humans. I know I couldn’t have imagined the way my journey has turned out. Sending you love!

  5. Salute to YOU and this journey, and thank you for being a voice to those are aren’t quite there yet. It’s women like you, women who share that help give others a voice.

  6. Well said. This post inspired me to write out my own timeline. You’re right that the timeline is just your life when going through treatment, and each of those procedures and dates are significant even if they didn’t work.

    Good luck on your journey! Hoping things continue to progress smoothly.

  7. Amen sister! Thank you, I needed to read this to reenergize my hope and faith. I know God has not forgotten me and I truly believe he has made us these superhero women for a reason. I’m pretty open about my infertility and I think because of this women have shared their experiences with me. I always shed a tear for them, but it also gives me strength to hear their stories. It reminds me that I’m not alone, so many women have stood where I am, I must fight on. My baby is coming, it may not be the way I invisioned it, but he or she is coming and I can not wait to be a mom!

  8. People on the outside don’t understand that a lot of times we have no other option but to be strong. We just have to keep on pushing forward in whatever direction that is.

    Great post.

  9. I’m so happy to have just found your blog. I’m nearing the 1 year journey mark and after the first 6 months being textbook and assuming we’d be pregnant soon, it came to a screeching halt in February and has been chaos since. I’m now first starting to engage with the community of women who are going through infertility and am gaining 2 perspectives: One, there are women far worse off than me and that may or may not be me someday, so I’m grateful for the small successes and good doctors I have. And two, this sucks and is hard and I’m allowed to be angry, frustrated, hopeful, determined, scared, excited, analytical & emotional all at the same time. No on can fathom your experience. I certainly couldn’t fathom a fraction of what I’ve been going through until it all happened, day by day, week by week. Best of luck with your journey. I’ll keep reading.

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