Someone wrote me recently and one sentence stuck out….
“The strength and determination you have had to endure, others couldn’t fathom.”
I thought about that for a moment…….”others couldn’t fathom”
I know I have been through a lot regarding infertility but I know others have been through even more. I mean, there are men and women when I read their stories, I think, I couldn’t fathom.
Honestly, it didn’t occur to me that maybe some people feel that way about me.
But then I had to step back.
And I had to look at my timeline(a.k.a. my life). I looked at all of the surgeries, appointments, procedures, blood draws, IVF’s, cancelled FET cycles, failed cycles, negative pregnancy tests, then ultimately giving up my ability to carry my own child and all of the work that has gone into having a gestational surrogate carry my baby…..
And wow…..I don’t know if I could have fathomed that 4 years ago either, when I started trying to have a baby.
Going through infertility, many times I thought, I just want to know what my future will look like…especially in the beginning. I wanted to know if the surgery would work, if I was on the correct path or dosage of medicine, if this would be the last IVF I would have to go through or if I would have blastocysts, if my lining would be thick enough, I could go on and on….
But if I knew what I would have to go through, maybe it would have been too overwhelming…..
Maybe I would have said, “Forget it, it just seems like it’s going to be too much.”
Maybe I would have given up before I even tried….
But that’s not how life works.
No one knows their future…so pray to God, or you go with your gut and take it step by step, day by day to decide what is best for you.
“What others couldn’t fathom”….that’s us. That’s infertility.
Wear that comment like a badge of honor. And stand proud.
I can now say….it makes me feel invincible that I can handle something others couldn’t fathom.
Like we have the superpowers of patience and determination.
And whether you are just starting your infertility battle…or have been here for 10 years…..
There is someone out there that could not fathom what you are going through at this very moment.
You are all strong. You are all brave.
You are all an inspiration to those longing to be called “Mom”….
Even if you are not one yet……yet.
So in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I salute all of my infertility warriors. You are all my inspiration and I appreciate each and every one of your messages and comments. Thank you for supporting me and thank you for spreading the word.
Infertility is a disease. Infertility needs to be recognized and covered by insurance.
Infertility is not a choice. Infertility is something I could never fathom yet is now a part of me forever.
And now, I am speaking up to help those that may not have found their voice yet…
Let’s all break the silence. #StartAsking
#NIAW 2016 #Resolve