So here we are….ultrasound time.

I’ve been a bag of nerves I tell ya…I mean, how can I not be??

I have no control. This baby is in someone else’s body. It’s a blessing that it happens to be my very own sister…but still….it’s not my body.

And, let’s be real, true control is in God’s hands…so worrying is just worthless.

I decided, from the start of using a gestational carrier, that it was just going to work. Period.

I could not fathom it not working after everything we had already been through and then going through the long, drawn out, trying process of using a gestational carrier, giving up my dream of being pregnant, etc…’s just gotta work..right??

So with the first beta down and the second….it was ultrasound time….

This was it…..with my sister, my husband and I in the room(along with ALL of the nurses, staff, etc..ha!)

I am so very happy to announce:

We have one little babe growing..and with a strong heartbeat!


Tears of joy rolled down my face when I saw that flicker!

It was surreal.

Not my uterus, not my body….but my baby….our baby…

What God and the science He has allowed to flourish is blessing us with is unexplainable.

Truly in awe.

And thankful. And hopeful.

And happy.

I haven’t felt “happy” in a long time. Like…a really long time.

My husband handed me a card after the ultrasound. He filled it out before we even knew….and this is what part of it read:

“Your endurance, frustration, sadness and determination have culminated to one of the single most wonderful emotions….JOY!”

Joy..yes…our embaby…Joy.

He ended the card with “Happy Heartbeat Day! 2016”

Yes…finally a happy day in that ultrasound room.

So, so many days had ended in ugly, sad tears…3+ years worth of ugly tears in that very room.

Finally some happy tears…..

Tears of Joy indeed.

Keep growing little Joy, can’t wait to see you again in 2 weeks!


45 Comments on Ultrasound (Gestational Carrier/Surrogate)

  1. This is just so beautiful you made me cry! Love your husband for getting you that card. Grow little baby grow– Mama can’t wait to hold you and love you!

  2. I cannot explain in words how excited and happy I am for you, your hubby, your awesome sister and that miraculous, beautiful little one growing each moment. Congratulations! You’re a rockstar for your determination and faith that this would happen.

  3. This couldn’t happen to a more deserving woman!!!! Real tears for someone I have never met…..the fertility struggle is bond enough.
    So happy u found your JOY….about time too!
    Stay sticky little one ❀️

  4. I’m crying tears of joy for you! So thankful your baby is growing strong! And what an amazing sister you have!

  5. I am so happy for you! This is the best news ever and I wish you all a wonderful pregnancy full of no issues! Hugs and congrats!

  6. So very happy and excited for you!! That sweet baby is very lucky to have such determined parents that have been praying for, wishing for, and dreaming of them for so long. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers!

  7. I have been following your blog all the way from Germany for quite some time. I never commented but I read every single post. I have been diagnosed with thin and unresponsive endometrium after an overambitious d&c after a missed miscarriage and have not been able to get pregnant since. So I could feel with your frustration after every ultrasound you had. Finally seeing this little baby has touched my heart – you have been believing in this and never giving up. And here it is. Your baby, not in your belly, but still you and your husbands baby. This is amazing, I am so happy for you. I keep my fingers crossed for your and your family. You deserve this so much!!! All the best

  8. I have been following your blog since, forever, I think! I’ve never posted or commented before… Just stood in solidarity, sent silent prayers, and could always sympathize, as I have gone through an incredibly similar journey with you… Congratulations!!! My heart bursts for you! What an amazing and selfless gift your sister is giving you! Can’t wait to see new ultrasound pics! Continued love, thoughts, prayers and vibes being sent your way for a happy and healthy pregnancy and baby!! I have heard that in Chinese, when a woman says she is pregnant, she is “expectant with joy!” Joy… That has quite a ring to it! πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ£

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