First, I want to thank you all so much for your support. So many times I’ve felt so alone in this nightmare…and other times when I read your comments and texts, I feel I have the greatest friends/supporters that understand and truly “get it.”

Now, without dragging it out any further…..

I’m still not pregnant…..



But my sister is!! With OUR baby!!

Beta #1: 131 (9dp5dt)

I didn’t know I could ever be so excited for someone else to be pregnant πŸ™‚

Our first embryo did not survive the thaw (and I was devastated) But either one or both of the other, low graded embryos, are still growing. Wow.

I’m numb……in a good way. I know this is just one tiny piece of the puzzle.

Unfortunately, I know not to get too excited.

That, friends, I believe is one of the saddest matters regarding infertility.

When others are overjoyed and hopeful with a positive pregnancy test, we cannot forget all of the pain and hurt we have endured so many times before.

But we must let go of the past.

This is new. This is hope. This is faith.

At this moment right now, we are pregnant.

I will celebrate. I will rejoice.

I will believe.

Beta #2 Monday.

***silently screaming inside…..YAY…Happy Day!!!!!!!!!!!! :)***


101 Comments on Beta Results (Gestational Carrier/Surrogate)

  1. Oh my gosh!!!! Happy tears!!! I have been waiting all day for this news. Thank you thank you thank you universe. My heart is filled with hope and joy. Xo

  2. I’ve been hoping and wondering all day! Oh, what joy! I truly understand being pragmatic about things, but at the same time… don’t deny yourself this joy… your wish has come true for one or both of those embabies to stick and make a little home. Fingers crossed and eeeeek! Oh what a time!

  3. So happy to see this post! Sending positive vibes your way ( and your sisters way) for the next beta. Congrats ❀️

  4. Best news ever! My first beta was Wednesday and my 2nd tomorrow. My Dr won’t call till he has the second 😞 And it is driving me crazy! So very happy for you

  5. Yay!!! So excited for you! That’s a great first beta! You are all pregnant! (You know what I mean.) One step at a time. Scream all you want, girl!!! (I hate it when they make you wait for beta… Monday?!?!?)

    • Thanks Isabelle…I am still in a lot of shock…like it’s not real…just taking it day by day. Yes, Monday is the 2nd beta because of the weekend πŸ™ Always thinking of you and praying your baby is right around the corner….I feel that you are almost there…I can just feel it! Lots of love! xoxo

  6. I have been waiting all day (im in London, UK) for this email to pop up and I was praying for that start of the email to be the trick it was….I’m not pregnant….but she is!!!! So madly happy for you, who knew I could be this happy for s relative stranger?! But you don’t seem like a stranger after reading your blog for so long! Praying that/those baby(ies!?) stick!!!! Xxx

  7. OMG! I’m so beyond happy to hear such wonderful news. Well done you and sis. Fingers crossed for more good news on Monday! Big hugs

        • I don’t remember how much I told you about my own situation. I have been quite private until recently.

          We did round 1 of ivf December ’14. Everything “looked good” and yet it didn’t happen. Then we found out in August ’15 we were pregnant naturally. While I thought my faith was strong, my trust in my Creator was not because I was “prepared for anything”. I thought that meant I was taking care of myself. When we miscarried at 8 weeks, I was strong and I was okay.

          I tell you all of this to say this: I have since come to know that because I trust completely and know completely that G-D loves me and does everything for my best, He also wants me to have children and when we get pregnant again soon, He will keep that child or children growing safely in my womb to be born beautiful and healthy!

          That’s my faith and trust in Him!

          So….when I read your posts recently, I knew this was it for you! Your first baby or babies are growing safely in your (sister’s) womb and they can’t wait to be in your arms! I can’t wait to see their previous pictures! XOXOXOXO

  8. Oh my gosh, that is such great news! I totally understand about not wanting to get too excited yet, but I can’t help to be excited for you πŸ™‚ just hope for the best and think positive!!!

    • Thank you so much Caren! I’ve been thinking of you lots too…need to catch up with everyones blog. One day at a time…still very nervous…but there is hope here so I’m hanging on to that…thank you for your support! xoxo

    • Thank you try3again. So sorry to hear you had a disappointing day. And I also know how hard it is to have a bad day and read a positive beta from someone else…so I understand how you are feeling. It took me over 4 years to get this beta…just know that if you keep going…even when it seems impossible…miracles can happen. Thanks for your support!

  9. Omg I’m soooo happy for you! Keeping everything crossed for you that this pregnancy will be strong and successful! X

    • Thank you searchingforourstork…yes, hopeful…that’s what I truly wish for us all. This has been hell…not going to sugar coat it(as you understand)…but now that I’m here….it is making more sense with every day that passes. Always thinking of you….know that I am here if you ever need anything! Lots of love to you…xoxo

  10. I literally just shouted “YAY!!!!!” and bounced up and down while clapping!!!!! I’m so pleased!!!!!! Think sticky thoughts little embaby/ies!!!!! Woohoo!!!! Praying so hard right now!!! Xoxoxoxo

  11. This is the best news I have heard today! What a great way to start the weekend! I will be praying for you and your family and especially for those embabies and your sister! Doctors only know so much on grading of embryos…God is Creator and only He knows what is good. Praying!!!

  12. So happy for everyone involved!!!!!! Congrats! Wishing you a smooth ride as you continue on the journey to completing your family πŸ™‚

  13. WOOOHOOO!!! Yay!!! This has been a LONG time coming and I am so happy for you guys! I know it is a still bittersweet between the remaining fear and the fact that you aren’t the one pregnant, but guess what… YOU’RE A MOM-TO-BE! And that’s way more important than being the pregnant one. Cheers to surro babies!! Can’t wait to see the first ultrasound! Sending lots of love to your little surro team. πŸ™‚ xoxo

    • Eeeeeekkkk! If there’s someone that understands…it sure is you Ashley! Thank you soooo much(and congrats again on your precious little guy! Inspiring!!) Yep, I’m not the one that’s pregnant but on my way to being a Momma is right…..finally!!!!!! It felt so neverending(and I’m sure this is just the start) but trying to stay positive that all will continue to go well. Thanks a bunch for your support and I’m sure I’ll need your advice down the road…xoxo

  14. Love everything about this post and just reading through the comments, you’ve got so much support behind you friend. You have been in my prayers constantly.

  15. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!! I was praying that it would be positive and I’ll continue to pray for a great 2nd beta. So happy for you but totally understand finding it a little hard to get excited. Love to you, my friend!

  16. I had a feeling she was when I saw your post two weeks ago, but I didn’t want to say anything. I’m so glad my gut feeling was true! This is great. I can’t wait until you can see ultrasounds of your baby (ies?)! This is wonderful news.

    Congratulations. Now take that kid to term!

  17. Hooray and Congratulations on the wonderful pregnancy! Continue to visualize yourself hugging and kissing the precious baby or babies. I pray for your sister, your babies and of course for you and your husband. Love, prayers and light to you!

  18. I am nervous about posting on any public site…but here it goes. I recently turned 40 and I began IVF treatment. Today is day 10 of hormone therapy and my follicles are growing but not quite at the required 18-20 mm mark. Im nervous and scared because I don’t think I can go through this process again.

    • Hang in there T.O! We did our first round of ivf December ’14. I turned 40 in the summer ’15. We found out we were pregnant naturally in August! We were excited through the roof but kept it all quietly to ourselves. You must know that anything, truly anything is possible! You will be a mom and I will be a mom! And it’s going to be sooner than it feels like! XOXOXO

  19. I am so so so thrilled for you. I have been following your story with some time. I’m sitting at my desk in work with happy tears pouring down my face. Massive congratulations to ye all, you will be the best mother. Huge, huge hugs xxx

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