I literally feel sick.
I have no control. There’s absolutely nothing I can do now.
Whatever is meant to happen, has already happened.
And how about really having no control……this is not even happening in my own body.
It’s all happening (or not happening) in my sister’s body. 400 miles away.
Talk about truly having “no control”. At all.
I am so beyond nervous.
Tomorrow is beta day.
The day that could change my life or shatter my dreams.
But again, I have no control.
Doubt always rears it’s ugly head.
I guess it’s because nothing regarding trying to have a baby has ever really gone my way.
For all of these years, I have been disappointed.
Why should this be any different?
I am preparing myself….for good news……or bad news….
I hate that I have to do that….but it has been my life….for years.
I’ve given up almost everything for a chance to have this child…..even my own womb.
It all comes down to this….
Beta in less than 24 hrs….and we will know.