With our upcoming FET to our gestational carrier (my sister!) tomorrow!!!, we’ve been asked many times, how many will you transfer?

I probably haven’t thought about this as much as most do because any time I have ever tried to have a transfer or had a transfer, we had no choice. Because of my damaged uterus, one embryo was my only option. Twins would be way too risky in this uterus. So going into this FET(with a “normal” uterus), I realized, we actually need to decide…one or two?

Obviously, this isn’t only my choice. My sister has a lot to do with it, as well as my RE’s opinion too.

So we talked. My sis and I talked and talked and decided….let’s go with 2 🙂 I was older when these embryos were created(36) and the chances are much slimmer when you bring the age factor in along with my DOR diagnosis too. So that’s, that….2 it is….right?

Well, after the last appointment, my RE was concerned about transferring 2. He said my blasts looked beautiful before they were frozen…even used the words “donor-like”….what?? I mean, in my 2nd round of IVF, I was fortunate to have 9 eggs collected and ended up with 6 blastocysts(!)…I was SHOCKED…and honestly,I still am shocked(and wonder if they are truly mine…I’m kind of serious) because we got zero on my 1st cycle and zero on my 3rd…..weird. But I digress….and I will take them!

My RE’s concerns are normal, I suppose…when you are dealing with “normal” patients. His concerns are that we have great looking blasts and they would most likely both implant(ummm…really?) and then he went into detail about risks with twin pregnancies and right then….I could see my sisters worry and shock on her face. He kept talking and trying to convince us that one would be safer for the baby and my sister. I definitely want the safest for them both…

But….I, on the other hand, am NOT normal. I don’t fall on the “normal” side of statistics and it’s usually not good.  I’ve been a patient of his for over 3 years…and I’ve never had a BFP. And this might be our only good shot. I mean, obviously, I would NEVER want to put my sister’s or babies health at risk but using a gestational carrier is not normal or easy. If we were using my uterus, obviously, we would only transfer one…even if I had a great uterus…because I could go back and transfer more into me.

But unfortunately, we don’t have that luxury.

I started being more set on 2 also because we have 5 blasts left. I used one on me (selfishly 🙁 ) and so we are left with 5. And if we transfer one…and are blessed enough to have a baby with that one blast, we still have 4 left…with no where to put them….and I want to give them a chance at life too. I know SO many (too many) of you would die for just one blastocyst, so please don’t take this as me complaining or worrying about something that makes you upset. That’s the last thing I want to do.

Please remember, I’ve been through hell and am giving up my dream of being pregnant, of growing my child inside of me, of wearing pregnancy clothes, of getting the congratulations, of having pregnancy pictures taken, of receiving the loving looks, of getting the experience of being pregnant, something most of you fortunately will be able to experience one day, all at a “chance” for my embryos to have a life. I’m just thinking it all through…..

And it’s all just so overwhelming…

After the appointment and after she researched a little more, my sister called me and said…”I think I only want to transfer one now…I’m scared”. And I get it. I truly do. She listened to my RE, read all of the statistics, read the message boards(yikes) and for “normal” people, it’s a pretty good chance that they would both take. I’m not convinced mine would…but that’s just me and the trauma I have been through. I am so beyond blessed that I even have a sister willing to do this that I want her to be happy and comfortable.

So finally last night, my husband and I decided…..that it will be up to my sister how many embryos are transferred….

All up to her…..100%.

And that’s that. It’s her body and her decision. And we are at peace with that….

Again, we are so blessed with her gift, that I want her to feel good about the decision and not pressure her into anything.

So she called me last night and………one embryo it is.

We will transfer our strongest A graded embryo tomorrow(!!!!)

I am happy with this. I am hopeful.

I am simply blessed to have a chance at having a baby.

Finally….we will have a chance.

(Prayers, baby dust, blessings, positive vibes, more prayers….all are welcome 🙂 )

I’ll update tomorrow!!



20 Comments on How Many To Transfer? FET (Gestational Carrier/Surrogate)

  1. Wow wow wow! I can’t wait to hear more great news from you and continuing to pray we all are blessed with precious dirty diapers!

  2. As a mother of both a singleton an IUI twins (not planned), I think this is a very wise move. My twin pregnancy was so much harder than my singleton one, and downright scary at times. At 20 weeks I was told I had a short cervix and was at risk of delivering very prematurely. I was scared…. I counted the weeks until viability, and then each week after. Sure enough my body started the early labor process at 30 weeks. Fortunately my doctor caught this in time and then I was on hospital bed rest for 5 weeks. They finally had to deliver me at 35 weeks due to me developing preeclampsia. None of these problems happened with my singleton pregnancy. I know this doesn’t happen with all twin pregnancies, but the risk is higher for these kinds of problems. Good luck!!!!

  3. This process is unfortunately filled with many sacrifices. While you sacrifice your womb, others sacrifice genetics from one or both parents, genetics and the womb, or a child at all. If this transfer doesn’t work hopefully your sister will be open to another. And you will still have 4 beautiful blasts and can always make the decision later to do 2. I pray that your transfer goes well and that your sacrifices will be rewarded.

    As we approach donor eggs this is the biggest dilemma for me as well. There is a huge part of me that wants to transfer two because I feel like it gives us better odds and with previous losses it scares me that 1 isn’t enough. But my doctor reminded me that we have no reason to believe this won’t work since we know my DNA is the problem and as much as I want it to work, the thought of a twin pregnancy is also very scary. We just have a take another leap of faith and pray for the best.

  4. First of all- I am so happy you have those beautiful blasts and can not think of a lady more deserving. Second of all- I think letting your sister decide is super smart. I have all the hope in the world that your beautiful baby will be on its way to you after tomorrow. Xoxo

  5. I am very excited for you all to transfer that perfect Grade A embryo. I totally understand your thought process and why you wanted to do two but what an amazing sister you have and sister you are to allow her to decide and be comfortable with that choice. Best of luck to you tomorrow, and I know this will be the “Little Embryo that Could”

  6. You have been working so hard for this moment and I can’t express how excited I am for you. One vs. two embryos is a difficult dilemma and I can imagine that the gestational carrier process makes it even more challenging. I’m sending you armfuls of support and positive energy for a smooth transfer of your beautiful embryo, the two weeks ahead, and the following nine months.

  7. I can’t even begin to imagine how stressful all of this has been for you, and you’re so right, you’ve had to give up on becoming pregnant yourself and I can’t even fathom what that must be like! I’ve been praying for you and I’ll continue to do so! I’ll pray for the transfer and your sister and also your husband because I imagine he’s feeling it too. Best wishes and baby dust!!

  8. Good luck tomorrow!!!! I know that whatever is decided will be the right answer. Sending you, your hubby, and your sister lots of positivity.

  9. How many is always a tough decision!!! On my first FAILED IVF we transferred 3 on day three. BFN. On my 2nd, we transferred 2 and I have a baby girl. More is not always better. Prayers and baby dust your way!!! xoxoxo

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