Month: February 2015

She Understands….

GetAttachment

Sometimes you feel like no one understands the pain and struggle that goes along with infertility.

I actually wrote about it here.

But then, there’s a night, where you meet up with someone….and it all clicks.

Everything.

She understands….she’s been there and she is my inspiration.

That person is Suzanne from ourjourneytoababybump.com

I was fortunate enough to meet Suzanne last night. She was in town for a business trip and we planned this meet up weeks ago. I counted down the days to finally MEET someone that understands..that’s been there…that truly “gets it”.

It was just so comforting and I loved spending time with her. We talked the entire time. We laughed. We cried. We comforted one another.

And we celebrated. You see, after all of the hell Suzanne has been through. She is on her way to the “other side”.

She is on her way to becoming a Mom. To TWINS.

Now, her road has not been an easy one. This wasn’t after a round or two of Clomid. Or after an IVF cycle. This was after years of trying everything…everything. And finally, an amazing angel offered to carry for her. Her gestational carrier K. Beautiful and truly meant to be.

The light that I saw in Suzanne’s eyes last night is inspiring. I want to get there.

I now know that it’s possible.

To feel defeated…over and over and over again. Not knowing what your future holds. Sitting in darkness and loneliness. It’s all consuming and overwhelming.

But then there is FAITH.

Faith that I will get there.

I’ll get there too.

However long it takes. I want to have that spark of true happiness that I saw in Suzanne’s eyes last night. She was beaming. And I couldn’t be happier for her.

One of my favorite quotes….“Out of difficulties grow miracles.”  Jean De La Bruyere

This couldn’t ring more true for Suzanne.

And now I know that it IS possible.

I CAN get there.

And I will not stop until I do.

An Open Letter To Pope Francis: “I Don’t Have Children, So I’m Selfish?”

Dear Pope Francis,

No, I don’t have kids.

And after hearing the words you spoke yesterday, “Couples who choose not to have children are “selfish”. I thought to myself, “Do others view me that way too…Selfish?” “Am I a part of the “greedy generation” that you spoke of?”

I’ve always made my own choices in my life. I’ve lived my life to the fullest and I have appreciated every blessing that I have been given.

People may be envious of my life. I have a career that I love, I enjoy my free time, I love vacationing, I adore my husband, I love my adopted pups, I love buying the newest technology, I love spoiling my nieces and nephews, I love sleeping in. I just really do love my life.

And it doesn’t include children.

And does that simply make me selfish?

Because, you see, the choice to have children or not have children…well, that wasn’t my choice. Not my choice at all.

It was decided for me.

I am unable to have children.

There is nothing more than I want in this world than, in your words Pope Francis, to “rejuvenate and enrich my life with children”

Nothing more.

I would give ALL of my “selfish” and “greedy” things up to have a child.

ALL of it.

Does that still make me “selfish” Pope Francis?

You see, making such a generalized statement saying that, “Couples not having children are selfish” is just really quite heedless.

Because, what about us? Those that have done everything humanly possible to create a child.

Years of fertility treatments, countless needles being stabbed into our bodies, multiple surgeries, bank accounts drained, emotions of multiple miscarriages, hope stolen…praying to God every day….dreams of a family…well, just that….dreams.

Now, after hearing you speak, others may view me as “selfish”. Just another reminder of what I don’t have.

So, thank you, Pope Francis.

You see, because sometimes, not having a child is the exact opposite of being selfish.

It’s selfless.

The women who have gone through infertility are some of the MOST selfless people I have ever encountered and I encourage you to reach out to them.

Selfish and Selfless….two words, that are similar in spelling but very different in meaning.

Kind of like those couples without children.

But really, who are we to judge?

Right Pope Francis?

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*Photo credit: Andrew Medichini/AP*