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I had high hopes for this month. I’ve been patient with both of my IVF cycles, all of my cancelled FET’s and cysts that have gotten in the way. A 40mm cyst last month just made me think, “Well, way to end 2014…with a huge cyst that won’t let me try for an FET once again”…..but I was o.k. with that. I accepted it and I knew that 2015 would be better…will be better.

Until today.

Those hopes for 2015 were dashed, once again because that huge, annoying cyst is still there…same size and now filled with blood.

My hope for 2015, for Jan, for something good to happen are once again put on hold.

That is why I give up.

Apparently, hoping for something good to happen to me only makes me feel worse when it doesn’t.

Hope.

I watched Jim Carey give an amazing speech a couple of months ago.Β http://omeleto.com/199433/

He talked about “hope”. He said “Hope is a beggar. Hope walks through the fire and faith leaps over it.”

That stuck with me. Why am I putting my effort into “hope” when all I need to do is have “faith” that it will happen?

So, that’s why I am giving up on hope….and relying on FAITH.

I have faith that I will be a mother. I have faith that it will happen. And I have the courage that fear will not run my life this year.

So starting off 2015 will not break me. I have faith that good things are ahead.

Faith is my guiding light in 2015.

 

37 Comments on Giving up on…..Hope

  1. Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. ~Hebrews 11:1

    Hope is a good thing because it connects us with faith. You have to have hope for something before you can ever have faith to believe it will happen. And so you totally hit the nail on the head because you can’t stay in hope forever. At some point, you have to move to faith. You have to have faith to believe in something even if all the evidence stacks up against you. I like to think of it like this…hope is the dynamite stick and faith is what ignites it and sets it off πŸ™‚ Here is to the “igniting” xoxoxoxo

    • Thanks Elisha. Hebrews 11:1…that’s exactly what I meant. I guess I found myself “hoping” too much and not relying on faith. Faith is 2015 for me. I need to “ignite” that Faith that it will happen. Here’s to a beautiful 2015! xoxo

    • Thanks so much Jennifer. Again, I just think of you and how you kept going and will have your baby soon….helps me a lot. Appreciate you so much πŸ™‚ I’ll get there somehow. Thanks for the support and prayers πŸ™‚ xoxo

  2. I couldn’t get pregnant 3,5 years long. We had 6 inseminations and 2 IVFs… We started the injections before the 3th IVF, when I got pregnant naturally with our first child. If somebody would tell me this before, I wouldn’t believe it, of course. But things can happen, even you don’t believe in it… Best wishes, Anett from Hungary, Europe

    • Thanks for your story Annett. Unfortunately, for me, I no longer have fallopian tubes, so the surprise pregnancy isn’t possible(I wish). But happy to hear stories of success in whatever way they happen. I know I will have a miracle one day…I just have to keep believing. Thanks for the wishes πŸ™‚ xoxo

  3. Love this. It’s SO hard with the constant challenges that you’ve had to face, but you keep showing how very strong you are. So yes, I know that 2015 has so many good things to come. I have faith. xoxoxo

    • Thank you Suzanne. Your story inspires me to just keep going throughout it ALL. You are on your way and I just have faith that I’ll be there one day soon too. 2015 has to be wonderful. Having faith that it will be. xoxo

  4. It’s hard to remain faithful through all of the TTC struggles but it’s good that you are still optimistic πŸ™‚ Having faith that 2015 is a going to be a great year for you!

    • Thank you Amie! The TTC struggles are tough…but I’m tough(I think?) so I’m really trying to stay optimistic….2015 just sounds like a great year…so that’s what I will believe the whole year…something wonderful just HAS to happen πŸ™‚ xoxo

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