So…I’ve been feeling really good about this cycle. I’ve just felt different. Like a warmth in my uterus and I’ve been doing everything I can to help this lining along. Acupuncture. Baby aspirin. Pomegranate juice. Walking. Praying. And I even drank 2-3 cups a day of that yuck “Raspberry Leaf Tea” that they tell you to drink…BTW…it tastes NOTHING like Raspberries…liars.
Anyways here are the results:
Uterine Lining: 3.7mm
Que…..no tears. That’s right…because I put on a FABULOUS face at my RE’s office. I refuse to cry in front of him anymore after doing it ONCE and being looked at like I needed to be in a psych ward. So I smiled….said…ok…see ya in a couple of days. My follicles(I have 2 growing on my only ovary) that are about 11-12mm each. So still room to grow…which means my lining could grow some more by Tues (that’s my next appt). But….same old…same old.
So I was walking to my car…still feeling o.k. about it all…..and then…….
my heel broke….
And just like that…a tear streamed down my face. And the water works began. Now, I know I wasn’t really crying about my dumb heel…but it’s broken and it made me feel like I am just broken. Something real that just happened mimicked exactly what was happening with my body…broken.
So then, what did I do? My immediate reaction to my heel breaking was…”Well, now I’ve got to go and get it fixed”….not, throw it away and forget about it…but “get it fixed”…..and that’s what I have to do with my uterus. I HAVE to find a way to FIX it.
I just have to….I have to….
So, if this drug, Tamoxifen doesn’t work for me….I move on to the next thing on my list for Project Dream 2015
And I think that will be the G-CSF. Now, due to Christmas, that probably won’t happen until Jan. 2015.
I can’t think too much about it all right now. One day at a time.
So, that’s that. I wish I had better news. I was visualizing a nice 8mm lining..maybe Tues.?? A girl can dream…
I know one thing…I can give up on medicines, and ideas and research and tests….but I cannot and will not give up on my dream to be a mother….
“One way or another…….I WILL become a mother.”~ xo, Dreaming Of Diapers
And that’s my motto for the rest of this journey…it WILL happen…I WILL be a mother one day…period.
And that makes my tears stop…puts a smile on my face…and keeps me going……keep going guys & girls….just keep going…..one day your dream will come true…you just have to believe…and never give up….love & blessings to you all…..xoxo