Month: October 2014

The BIG Plan: Project Dream 2015


Since we had to sit out this cycle due to my HUGE 50mm cyst…yes, I typed that right….50 mm….weird how I can’t grow my freakin’ lining a measly 8mm but cysts I can grow to 50mm?! Arg!

Anyways, I went in for a natural mid-cycle check. No meds, just au natural,to see if the cyst is shrinking and to see if my lining wanted to make an appearance…of any sort. Well, the cyst is shrinking….good….my only ovary is functioning…I have a nice 17mm follicle ready to ovulate…great….and my lining is……..non-existent…..again….:( He didn’t even measure it because he couldn’t….there was fluid again and…after 1,000 ultrasounds…I can read the ultrasound better than my RE by now…he doesn’t even have to say anything…I look at it, he looks at it…he shrugs…and says…well, everything else looks great but your lining is just not there and you would never be able to carry a baby with this lining.

Just the very words of him saying, “You’ll never be able to carry a baby with this lining”….wants to make me prove him wrong. Now, mind you, I’m not an idiot. I would NEVER transfer an embryo in 1 or 2mm lining….obviously, the poor embryo needs something to attach onto and grow….but, still, there’s GOT to be a way for it to grow some. I mean, in one of my IVF cycles it got up to 6mm…I mean…barely 6mm but it did…we just didn’t transfer because it looked horrible, and uneven and not triple stripped, etc, etc….we didn’t know how much worse my lining could get…but it did.

So that brings me to all of my options….and The Big Plan: Project Dream 2015…. here they are…I’m really praying that God will give me the answer…and I’m sticking to that but this is where we are:

Option 1) I still haven’t tried a drug called Tamoxifen. Basically, you take 20mg for 5 days, starting on CD3. So CD3-CD7, then you have an ultrasound on CD11, CD14 and CD17….usually 10 days after Tamoxifen withdrawal, you should be able to see a significant lining growth. It has worked for some women with chronically thin lining resistant to standard Estradiol treatment…so hey, it’s worth a shot.

Option 2) HCG Priming– Ā I found this in the gov trials and it is in Phase 4 which means that they have seen enough progress and success to continue researching. This process would be, 150 IU of HCG for seven days subcutaneously concomitantly with estrogens in preparation endometrium cycles for frozen embryos replacement. Basically, it is hypothesized that having HCG in your system helps the embryo attach onto the lining (even if it is on the thinner side) I feel like some clinics already do this or something like this…so maybe if my lining doesn’t get as thick, maybe it would be more receptive with the HCG?

Option 3) G-CSF: This is a fairly new process for women with chronically thin endometrium where the RE does an “endometrial perfusion” of G-CSF and within 48 hrs you should see a significant growth. My concerns with this is that, it is very new, I’m not even sure if anyone has actually delivered a baby yet after this type of treatment(maybe concerns with the health of the baby?), those are a couple to name a few. I would probably try this option when/if I have to go through IVF #3.

Option 4) Adipose Derived Stem Cell Treatment to regenerate endometrium- This, to me, is the most exciting (yet risky) and I found it after reading through HUNDREDS of articles. I thought I would post it here(email me if you want all of the info) but it is a lot of info. It has been beneficial for some diseases/injuries(MS, Alzheimer’s, etc..). Long story short though….Adipose is our OWN FAT…and basically the process is: Small amount liposuctioned of the adipose fat from the abdomen…it is processed(beyond my understanding) and mesenchymal stem cells are sorted(specific to what area you are treating) and then they are re-introduced into your own bloodstream and also, specific to your condition, for me: perfused into the endometrium. Your own stem cells(won’t be rejected), then, repair/replace the damaged stem cells and you have functioning endometrium. It has worked in Russia, India and currently Spain is doing gov trials(and the scientists have said it is looking very promising). I have contacted numerous scientists who have worked in this field and they have ALL gotten back to me with info(I know, I was shocked that they got back to me because they are BIG TIME). This has not been done in the US yet(specifically for the endometrium…it has been done to treat diseases and athletic injuries…MANY professional NFL athletes have done this who are currently playing), but I have found a clinic that would be willing to work with me, of need be. It is very expensive, and obviously experimental but sometimes if you don’t take risks, things might not happen. What about the woman who was the 1st to go through IVF? Louise Brown would not have been born along with the thousands of other babies born through IVF since her birth.

Risks…those are the risks….

Option 5) Gestational Carrier- I don’t have to explain this…this would be the final option. Less risk…still some risk but obviously, the GC would have already given birth to one or more babies with no complications, etc…

So that’s where I’m at….a little confused…but trying to listen to my heart and listen to God. I do believe that He is leading me to all of these options. I mean, He is the one who has provided and made me aware. He has created these options for me to consider…and that’s what I will do.

When I posted a new picture on my Timeline reading, “Either I will find a way, or I will make one” I didn’t know what I was getting myself into….but I’m open and I have so much hope and determination…not only for myself…but for the other women who are told they cannot carry their own child….

Lots to consider….so we will wait until next cycle…..stayed tuned for what I try next……

Project Dream…..this is my dream…and I won’t give up until I’m holding my healthy child in my arms šŸ™‚

****Disclaimer: I am not a Dr. and do not recommend any of these treatments. I am simply stating what options I have personally researched that may be best for me and my body. Please do your own research for your particular issue.****


Wine & Donuts


True story…this is happening right now…wine with donuts…classy, I know.

It’s just been one of those weeks…one of those weeks where you just don’t know what to do next. So I go with my gut and I choose wine and donuts…they are my favorite. Usually not together…but heck…it’s been a rough week..please, try not to judge šŸ˜‰

What’s going on with me “almost pregnant” wise?? Well, I’m still in a holding pattern. After FINALLY getting my period(after 51 days…arg) This week, I went to my RE on CD3 hopeful to finally start this new medicine Tamoxifen to grow my lining….and then a 5cm cyst shows up on my only ovary. Yep, yep, yep…so guess what?? I am out this cycle and have to wait, once again, for CD1…

Sometimes, you have to just throw your arms up in the air and say…”I give up” …and then start drinking wine and eating donuts like I did…oops…

What’s your “wine and donuts”?

“pizza and beer”? “candy and soda”? “cake and more cake?!!”

Let me know šŸ™‚

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend…xoxo