How….very……….rude of you….
That’s I how I feel when I get asked that…almost every day. Because, clearly, I’m not the one who decides….It seems like people should “get” it…but they don’t.
Why is it something that people feel they need to ask?
Why is it socially acceptable to ask?
Why do people feel like they need to “help” you figure it out????
I remember being single….very single and attending most of my friends weddings….solo.
I was the inspiration for 27 Dresses, I swear. I’ve been a bridesmaid or maid of honor in over 16 weddings…no joke. It’s not fun to go to weddings alone. But I did……and I remember people asking questions like….”When are you getting married?” “You’re such a great catch.” Well, thanks (random person I just met at a wedding) but…I’m not getting married anytime soon…I(clearly) don’t even have a boyfriend…so thanks for making me feel bad about myself for not knowing when I’m getting married (que anxiety attack in bathroom..and more WINE).
Now, that is how I feel about not having a child.
I know one day I will have a child. Just like I knew one day I would find my husband.
So stop asking because I’ve got it covered!
I’ve kept most of this infertility business to myself…and my hubby. For me, we are the only ones that need to know. Simple as that…(o.k….and all of you guys too 😉
But everyone….from my landlord to my boss to my mother in law….ALL want to know WHEN I’ll be pregnant…and guess what? It’s none of your business and oh, yah…I HAVE NO CLUE! I now tell them…it’s not up to me….it’s up to God. And end it with that….if they believe in God they say…”Oh, well I’m sure it will happen soon hun…I’ll pray for you” and if they don’t….well that just shuts them up (and hopefully makes them think about it).
But it’s true. It isn’t up to us WHEN we will become pregnant. For some, it’s an “accident”(btw…one of my biggest pet peeves is when people say that about their kids) For others, like us in the infertility world,…it’s a miracle. A beautiful, imperfect, yet perfect miracle.
Some people wish for more money. Some people wish for a bigger home. Some people wish for a better job.
I wish for our miracle. Something most people take for granted every day..being able to get pregnant and have a healthy child…
What a miracle…
But I don’t know when that will be. So I can’t answer that question anymore…and I’m not going to…
WHEN it happens is when everyone will know….and it’s as simple as that….