cant-lose-weight-I-can-do-it

Seems unbelievable right? To be included in SUCH a small percentage of what “could” (or could not) happen?

“Approximately 0.6%–0.8% of patients cannot reach the minimum endometrial thickness for pregnancy”

0.6%-0.8%….seriously?

I went in today for a “natural” cycle lining check….let’s be REAL nothing is “natural” anymore. I’m literally a human test dummy…and the verdict….2.8mm…..:( As most of you know…it should be more like 8.0mm+ I am dumbfounded and so are my RE’s…..

I had my 2nd hysteroscopy on April 10. I went to THE premiere Asherman’s Syndrome Dr….he did the hysteroscopy and said…he only saw some “filmy adhesions”…not that bad and a “small” bald spot in the upper area of my uterus. He didn’t seem too concerned. He put me on Pentoxifylline(Trental) and Vitamin E(I actually started it at the end of March when I first saw him)…and we wait a couple of months….

I know it’s only been a little over a month….but most people have their thickest linings right AFTER a hysteroscopy….and mine is basically non existent…

Now…I also….re-read my last paragraph…and I did write “most people”….obviously, i am NOT most people….I am, unfortunately, part of the 0.6%-0.8% of women who cannot seem to reach the minimum endometrial thickness for implantation…..wow….those odds…..not even 1%

This all just happened about an hour ago. I was optimistic….feeling great…feeling like…”my lining should be nice and plump” The surgery had to work!

Then the ultrasound…and nada….I still have a super thin lining AND fluid in my lining πŸ™ What’s the deal?

0.6%-0.8%….it just gets me…..gets to my soul…..why me? How is it possible to be a part of this percentage?

What gets me most is how easy the Dr.’s are to start talking about gestational carriers. Like it’s like…ordering a pizza…what?? Sure, because everyone just has $100,000 laying around….

But, I am EXTREMELY fortunate and after my 2nd IVF, I have 6 blastocysts…very fortunate and blessed…but I’ve never even had an embryo near my uterus….ever. I’ve never been pregnant….never had a miscarriage…never a D&C until last Aug. I only have one tube…that’s blocked and now…that’s REALLY blocked because I had the Essure device placed to prevent a possible Ectopic pregnancy or fluid pouring back in killing an embryo.

I’m still determined to, at least, have one embryo placed in my uterus before looking into a gestational carrier(if that’s even financially possible??)…can’t even think about that now…even though tears still seem to force their way out of my eyes…like I have no control over them…I am strong…but gosh…I am less than 1% πŸ™

I’m researching like it’s my job…and it WILL be my job…because I have no choice…

I’m looking at all of the options…there HAS to be an option for us 0.6%-0.8%….and I’ll find it..

I’m going to try another lining stimulation cycle next month…with estrogen injectables…with 2 IVF’s down…injectables are nothing to me…so let’s do it…we might also try something called G-CSFΒ It’s new and the results are mixed but I’m literally willing to try anything….

I’ve also looked into stem cells….

In 2009…a women in India had impossible problems with her lining and using her own bone marrow stem cells…they implanted them into her uterus and she was able to grow an adequate endometrium….I really hope I don’t have to go that route (God are you listening πŸ˜‰ but don’t put it past me…

I’m on a mission….I have tears streaming down my face…but they are fighting tears….I wipe them away as I search and search for what is right for me….and what is right for me is not giving up and finding everything and anything i can about growing my lining…

0.6%-0.8%…..I have 99.4% against me…..but there’s still a chance….and as long as there’s a chance…I haven’t lost…..

And I don’t like losing…..

 

34 Comments on 0.6%-0.8%…That’s me…

  1. First off thank you for sharing. This has been a very challenging experience and it helps to read what others are going through. I started my 1st round of IVF in March with a failed transfer. I had a lining of a 5.6 at that time. My doctor thought we should try it because at that point she thought I could have a naturally thin lining. I was scheduled for my 2nd transfer last week and it was cancelled because of another thin lining measurement. Ughhh, so frustrating, I went in 4 times over the past 2 weeks to measure and all too thin. Very upsetting. I’ve never had a miscarriage, abortion or any surgery. Back in January I had a lining of an 8, this was without any meds. My IVF clinic puts everyone on birth control to control their cycle with the doctors schedule. This 2nd round I was only on birth control for 2 weeks. I can’t imagine it could continue to have this effect on my lining. Now we’re going to try a “natural cycle, so no meds and see how I respond. I go back for another measurement in June. I’ve been going to acupuncture 3x a week, doing everything I can. I don’t know if I should get a 2nd 3rd opinion. I just have to be positive and hope. I drink the Raspberry Tea that’s supposed to help all day long! πŸ™‚ Again, thank you for sharing.

    • Thank you Jenn…having chronically thin lining stinks πŸ™ I’m definitely going to search for us and try ANY possible treatments…so check back here and I’ll let you know! Best of luck to you in your natural cycle…for some that definitely works best! xoxo

      • DOD, so Friday I went in for my lining check (almost 1 month of natural cycle) I was at a 5.4, that was day 10 of my cycle. The doctor told me to come back today, day 13 of my cycle, I measured at 6.3. This is the highest I’ve been since starting the IVF. My body is responding better w/o the meds. I just have to give it more time. Here are the things I think are helping: I’ve been going to acupuncturist who specializes in infertility 3x a week, NO COFFEE, eating alot more red meat, the raspberry tea I told you about, yoga and working out alot more (like i used to when my lining was thicker) and expecting this is ABSOLUTELY going to happen instead of feeling sad. THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN VERY SOON. On Friday when I was at a 5.3 instead of being upset I just told myself I’m not going to get upset this time and I thought of something that made me happy. We have to shift our energy. No more numb, no more upset. Smile even if you don’t want to. Eventually the numbness and sadness will go away and it will happen. “ASK BELIEVE RECEIVE”. Expect it will happen. One day you’re going to go to the doctor and show improvement. It will happen for both us. I know it. The universe knows, now you have to know it. πŸ™‚
        xoxoxo

      • DOD, so Friday I went in for my lining check (almost 1 month of natural cycle) I was at a 5.4, that was day 10 of my cycle. The doctor told me to come back today, day 13 of my cycle, I measured at 6.3. This is the highest I’ve been since starting the IVF. My body is responding better w/o the meds. I just have to give it more time. Here are the things I think are helping: I’ve been going to acupuncturist who specializes in infertility 3x a week, NO COFFEE, eating alot more red meat, the raspberry tea I told you about, yoga and working out alot more (like i used to when my lining was thicker) and expecting this is ABSOLUTELY going to happen instead of feeling sad. THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN VERY SOON. On Friday when I was at a 5.3 instead of being upset I just told myself I’m not going to get upset this time and I thought of something that made me happy. We have to shift our energy. No more numb, no more upset. Smile even if you don’t want to. Eventually the numbness and sadness will go away and it will happen. β€œASK BELIEVE RECEIVE”. Expect it will happen. One day you’re going to go to the doctor and show improvement. It will happen for both us. I know it. The universe knows, now you have to know it. πŸ™‚
        xoxoxo

  2. That is so upsetting but I am soooo glad that you have decided to look for a cure and not give up! Someone needs to find a cure for thin lining and you are the one who will find it!!

    • Thanks for your support journeyformybaby! Yes, it is sad that a cure hasn’t been found and they just throw out the “gestational carrier” as a solution….that’s not a feasible solution for most πŸ™ I am determined to find a cure though so thanks for the encouragement!

      • You’re welcome. And yes, surrogates are not as affordable or easy to come by as RE’s try to make them sound!! Plus it’s just nice to get to carry your own baby if you are at all physically able to.

  3. It’s tough, I fought with thin lining and decided it was the medication that I was getting given that caused my lining to be thin. On my last frozen embryo cycle I refused any drugs/medication and did a natural cycle… I got a full lining and actually fell pregnant, now only 6 weeks to go. Good luck I know how tough it is πŸ™‚

    • I remember your story ivfs42…and i’ve been following your pregnancy…sooo wonderful πŸ™‚ I don’t know what will work for me but I’m willing to try it ALL…there’s gotta be a way for me to carry my own baby…I just know it! Thanks for your luck and support! πŸ™‚

    • You did ivfs42?????????? Oh my gosh!! That’s amazing!!! Congrats! How long after did you do a transfer after you went off the meds? Dreaming of Diapers, do you know what your lining was like before meds?? i think we just need to give our bodies a break from the meds.

      • Jenn thanks πŸ™‚ Straight away…. Had a terrible month in the September and went straight for a natural cycle and finally got a good lining and the embryo took…

  4. You are such a strong person. Don’t lose hope everything will work itself out. I’m rooting for u and keeping u in my prayers.

    • Thank you Jojo….it’s hard to be strong but when you don’t have a choice…it actually gives you more strength to continue…thank you for the prayers…they are appreciated greatly…xo

  5. I’ve been following your blog for quite some time and I have to say you are so strong and one of the most determined ladies I have come in contact with. Your strength is inspiring. You are a fighter. Don’t ever lose hope. Sending prayers your way.

    • Thanks so much…I’ve been following yours too….you are very strong as well…I admore that in you and it pushes me…thank you for the words of encouragement….we are both fighting…I won’t lose hope and thank you so much for the prayers…I need all of them I can get…xoxo

  6. I don’t have lining issues (it’s actually about the only thing I don’t have) but I completely understand what it feels like to always be on the wrong side of an overwhelmingly positive statistic. I think you are doing amazing job and your determination is very inspiring. Just keep fighting lady. Listen to your own body and don’t let doctors or nurses or anyone else try to tell you that you’re wrong.

  7. Thank you sadietrue….(and congrats to you by the way :))))) I know what you mean by “listen to your body and to not let the Dr.’s tell me different” I agree. They have all of these statistics and look down on you when you don’t fit in them….but I’m determined to prove them wrong…thanks again for the encouragement! xo

  8. God declares you are wonderfully and fearfully made. You are no stat in His mind – He knows every hair on your heart as well as every intricate detail about you!!!

    • Thanks so much for the kind words Caroline πŸ™‚ I know I am not a stat….and I’m determined to prove the Dr.’s wrong…God has a plan for me and I’m hopeful He will lead me to my baby soon πŸ™‚

  9. Hi! I am new to your blog and am looking forward to following your journey. I love your determination! I can relate to being that one person who beats all the odds (not in the way we would want to).
    The stem cells procedure sounds so interesting!

    I am now in the process of using a gestational carrier. I hope you don’t have to go this route (it brings plenty of its own complications), but if you do, I think there is hope… I know I wouldn’t believe it when I was told this, but my doctor said there will be people who will do it out of the goodness of their heart (I don’t have $100k either; we are lucky to pay for the procedures at this point). It turned out that I didn’t even have to ask anyone to be our gestational carrier, my mom told some of our family about my struggle to have a baby, and my cousin called up and volunteered to have our baby before we were even going to start looking for someone to do this. I still sometimes can’t believe it; it has changed my perspective on how I see people in general! I’m sure there are people in your life who are just as kind… just a thought πŸ™‚

    I hope you find your cure and are pregnant soon! Wishing you all the best!!
    http://2daymightbetheday.blogspot.com

    • Wow Jennifer…I just read your blog too and you’ve been through a LOT πŸ™ I can empathize with you…I am so happy that your cousin has offered to be your carrier…how wonderful! I’m trying not to think about that right now but RE’s are so easy to suggest it…makes me so sad that they suggest that so quickly and don’t try EVERYTHING first. But as long as we get our baby in the end…that’s all that matters πŸ™‚ Wishing you all the best too!! I’ll be following you and thinking of you! I know it will happen soon for the both of us! πŸ™‚

  10. how have i not found your blog before? I’m so sorry to hear about your Asherman’s and what a difficult road this has been for you. Do you follow Suzanne at Our Journey to Baby Bump? She has Asherman’s as well and just had a transfer from her DE cycle. looking forward to cheering you on…

    • Hi Jessah! I just looked at your blog and how have I not found yours too??!!! Our names are similar!! Too funny! I have actually seen Suzanne’s blog and I know we are VERY similar with lining problems πŸ™ I just saw that she just had a transfer though and cheering her on too! I’ll be following you and cheering you on as well…we ALL need all the support we can get :)!! xoxo

    • Thank you SO much! It’s really hard to stay strong but you gotta do whatcha gotta do! And I am DETERMINED to have a baby at the end of this journey! Thank you for the prayers! Appreciate then greatly! xo

  11. oh girl my heart breaks for you but God is a God of the impossibles and for some reason I feel like He saying…”Don’t worry about the numbers…” He took five loaves and two fish and feed thousands upon thousands. Your lining might not be much, but in faith, give Him what little you have and watch Him multiply it. Faith is believing without evidence or proof. Walk, talk and act like you have the best lining in the world. It might…no it will seem silly and out of the ordinary, but God doesn’t work in the ordinary. He doesn’t work in the natural but the supernatural. I know that you will have your own babies because it is NEVER in His plan for anyone to live under the devil’s wrath of sin. He wants you healed, restored, and making babies πŸ™‚ Keep the faith sugars! love ya! xoxo

    • Thank you so much Elisha…your words are always so comforting. Your reminders of God’s love and His gifts to us is a blessing. I know our wait might be longer than others…but I WILL wait. I know that WE will have our babies soon. I know you will have your Josiah and I will have my mini me or mini hubby soon πŸ™‚ I appreciate you always being there and ready to turn my low point into understanding. Understanding that this is just MY journey….and He has created it for me to experience…when the time is right πŸ™‚ Thank you..xoxo

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