Once again catching up 🙂
About a month after my HSG, was my (dreaded) Hysteroscopy and Essure placement.
I made the tough decision to go ahead with the Essure procedure and block my tubes completely. Now, the only way I would ever become pregnant is through IVF. It was a very hard decision but after realizing that the chances of: #1 Never becoming pregnant,#2 Having an ectopic pregnancy or #3 Having toxic fluid possibly kill my embryo(s)….I said…let’s do this and be safe!
The night before I had to take this medicine to “help open up my cervix”. Seemed harmless, right? Umm….wow…no, some of the worst cramps…..all night long…I mean, I could handle it.. ..I’m tough(just keep telling myself that and it works right 😉 ).I was also pretty nervous about this WHOOOOOOLE thing. If I REALLY thought about it….I’m choosing to fully block my ONLY tube and never be able to become pregnant naturally….ever. I had to keep telling myself though….that I’ve NEVER even been pregnant so maybe this is the only way I will ever become pregnant? ALL those questions and answers processing through my brian. No wonder I couldn’t sleep! I prayed and felt that, I had to take this next step. And this will take me one step closer to becoming a Mom…..all I’ve ever wanted….
Surgery Day….i couldn’t eat or drink anything past midnight the night before. Surgery was scheduled for 11:30am…I woke up…I was SO thirsty! My hubby drove me to the office. I got settled in. They put me under general anesthesia and I was out….
3 hours later…..
I woke up to a sweet faced nurse asking me questions about my first job. I work in television so I get questions all of the time…but I was so confused…and exhausted and still THIRSTY! 3 Hours?! I thought this was going to take 1 hour?? What happened??
My RE came in and said…”We ended up having to do a D & C on you(what???), you had A LOT of scar tissue…looks like you have Asherman’s Syndrome too but we placed the Essure and hopefully it will stay there”. “Oh, and you have a drain and a balloon inside of you for the next week…we will check on that in a week”.
Wow…gotta love how the Dr.’s just tell it like it is…soooo…one more thing to add to my growing list:
- I only have one “lazy” ovary/one fallopian tube
- My only fallopian tube is blocked and has hydrosalpinx
- I have a lot of scar tissue in my uterus and diagnosed with Asherman’s Syndrome
- I have this (gross) drain tube and balloon in side of my uterus for the next week..feels great…oh joy
- Small uterus (yah…he told me that too)
- Low AMH(.62) and High FSH (12.8)
So, after all of that, I still have hope. I won’t give up. I’m seeing this journey more as a job. I will take whatever steps to get to where I want to be.
My RE is concerned about my eggs and quality/quantity so he wants to get them out asap. I will be doing a retrieval cycle in November. Then take a month off. Do another retrieval in Jan. Take a month off. And then hopefully do an FET in March. I’m almost overwhelmed by all of this. Emotionally…let alone financially. But I will do it…whatever it takes….
Thank you friends, I’ll need your support and encouragement. I enjoy reading your updates and am thrilled when I see that one of you is pregnant. I also feel the pain of losses with you and disappointment. This blogging community is strong, I am so happy to have you all. I might be at a low point now but one day I will be at my highest point…share the journey.
Through this beautiful struggle…I will stay strong…